As an impressionable young teenager, I remember filling notebooks with I ❤ and some random boy’s name. I remember one sheet that is still probably somewhere in my memoriabilia that was filled with different boys names all the way across and down. There was at least fifteen names on the paper, and that might be an underestimate. I admit, I had no clue what love really was but my infatuation with any of those boys at the time could have easily led me to compromise my character under the right circumstances.
I am not sure why my mind was drawn to the memory of that sheet as I listened to a song about the vastness of God’s love. A song of how God’s love should turn our hearts towards a love for others. Maybe it is the fact that I am often irritated when the love that is required by Christ costs me something I am not in the mood to give. When people move into the draining phase of care and I am in a mood to just skim the surface.
It had been that kind of day. One where more than one person was needing something that I didn’t feel like I wanted to give. My cup was nearing empty and I was not relying on God to fill it to overflowing so I could minister to those around me. I admit, I have found myself here a little to often for my liking lately.
Regardless of why it came to mind, my mind was drawn to the idea that I might have compromised myself at that young age had the circumstances been right. God doesn’t ask me to compromise, He just asks for obedience with only my best in mind. Yet too often, I am still unwilling to give what little I have in my hand to Him. The only thing that is compromised in my relationship with Him is my flesh. He asks me to give up things that distract me from Him. In the moment it may be painful pruning, but I have never had a regret when I have obeyed His request. My only regrets tend to be when I don’t listen to His still small voice.
I am not the same young girl, that thought I loved every cute boy that crossed my path. At that time in my life, I allowed God to keep me from compromising who I was. In my relationship with God, why do I allow my flesh to compromise who God says I am? I want to get to the point with Him that I will love without compromise. I want to get to a place where My relationship with Him means that whatever He asks, I am willing to give generously and without question.