Little Surprises

A few weeks ago, I had an unexpected surprise in the midst of mourning.  I had been at my grandmother’s visitation, and while catching up with family is nice, my heart was sad.  It had been a long day as my grandfather had a heart attack that morning so I had spent the day at the hospital to just run home and grab my husband for the visitation.

My extended family had agreed to meet for dinner after leaving the funeral home as my brother was in from out-of-town.  My husband was in the truck waiting for me when I climbed into the truck.  I admit my focus was not on my surroundings as I sat there.  He had driven just a short distances when he kind of chuckled.  I asked him what was so funny.  And he replied “You’ll figure it out.”

I paused, a little annoyed with the coyness, trying to figure it out.  It was dark outside.  The car in front of us was traveling slower than I thought it should but it wouldn’t be funny to husband.  As I started to let my frustration rise, he said “You have a surprise coming.”  Again I was annoyed as I really am not big on surprises.  He said something again about a surprise.  He finally got his surprise to speak from the back seat.  My three-year-old grandson had decided that he wanted to ride with us over to the restaurant.  They had decided that he would surprise me since I didn’t know he was with us as I had not walked out to the truck with my husband.

surprisesMy husband had been trying to “cue” our grandson to surprise me.  As I thought about it, there had been a little rustling in the back seat, but I didn’t think much about it.  I certainly would not have thought that he was in the car seat behind me as he generally talks unless he is asleep while we are riding.  When my husband mentioned a surprise one of the children being with us was not what entered my mind.  We laughed and my grandson just loved that he had scared his Mimi.

I think that God often chuckles as He seeks to surprise us with His blessings.  He knows when we are going through rough times, and even in the midst of trials and tribulations, He knows the small little things that will speak to our hearts and remind us He is there even then.

Often times, like the rustling in the back seat, we can miss what God is trying to do around us as we keep our focus internally or on the circumstances we are facing.  Eventually the blessing comes forth, but because we aren’t looking for one it takes longer for us to take hold of what it right there waiting.

Sometimes God’s blessings don’t look like we expect.  I get trapped into thinking that God has to do things the way I am expecting for them to happen.  What happens is that I miss the joy of walking through the full experience of God’s blessing because I am so focused on how I think it should be.  I still get the blessing, but I miss part of the joy God meant for me to have with it.

Sometimes God’s blessings aren’t even in our view.  I think I love these surprises from God the best because I feel like He is saying “This is just for you because I love you.”  When He provides without me having an expectation of anything from Him, I know it is just Him showing off in His love for me.  There is nothing greater than feeling His love so personally.

At the end of God’s blessings, is a time of fellowship with thanksgiving.  There is a joy unspeakable when you stop to see the little surprises of God’s blessings.

Blessings are little surprises from God that are meant to help give us hope during difficult seasons.  They are His way of sharing His love with us.  Blessings are mean to draw us into deeper fellowship with Him.  They may not always come when we want them or as we expect them, but God’s blessings will always overtake us.



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POD #11: The breakthrough story

Tell the story of any breakthrough, comeback or turnaround you’ve ever had, witnessed or dreamed of.

Keep in mind that every story has these things:

  • a beginning, middle and an end
  • a setup, a struggle and a wrap-up
  • a hero, a villain (which can be abstract, like fear or trauma) and people or things that aid, guide or mentor the hero
  • an end result in which the hero is changed, for the better, by virtue of having gone through the struggle.

Make sure you describe how your hero was changed for the better on the other side of the struggle.

Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver bowls, but also those of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable.

So if anyone purifies himself from anything dishonorable, he will be a special instrument, set apart, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work. 2 Timothy 2:20‭-‬21 HCSB

dishonorThis scripture jumped off the page at me. There is a spot in my life that I have only recently been able to define. Insecurity. People tell me that I am good at hiding my insecurities because I have an exterior appearance of confidence and assertiveness. Yet, I know the thoughts that go through my mind and I can’t hide from them. I find myself in the large house of filled with many types of “bowls” – God’s people. It is there I feel most insecure.

In my insecurities, I often find myself feeling dishonorable. Dishonorable. I can easily use that word to describe my past. For so long, I have been the clay on the potter’s wheel being transformed into something more useable for His purpose. Yet, my past still often leaves me feeling dishonorable. From where I came from, to what has been done to me, to the things that I have done, it really is, dishonorable.

I am not even one who can tell a pretty story “Then I found Christ, and my life changed forever….” Nope, I found Christ. Then I walked away. Dishonorable. It is why I feel so insecure with other believers, I feel like a hypocrite. I was a childhood billboard for Christ who turned into a walking billboard for the enemy. Even when I came back to Christ, my walk was less than honorable for many years.

After knowing the Lord for over 32 years, I should be farther down His path for my life. Yes, I know the Bible. I can quote scriptures, win the Bible drills, and minister to need easily with the Word. I pray, I read, I attend, I am faithful and fruitful. Yet, I let the enemy trip me up with the past. I hear him scream DISHONORABLE!!!!

That is why this scripture jumped at me as I read it. A truth to combat the lies that I listen too.

I am no longer dishonorable. Christ purified me with the cleaning of His blood at Calvary.

Titus 2:13-14 Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.

I am a special instrument to be used by God. I am part of His own special people. I am not dishonorable.

Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;

Christ set me apart for His special work. He knew before I was ever born where I would come from. He knew what would be done to me. He knew what I would do. He knew I would walk away. Yet He created me anyway. I am not dishonorable.

Ephesians 2:10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

God has taken my past, the dishonorable; He has purified it. He has set me apart for His good works. And I, I am blessed to be able to walk that out. I am honored that He would use the places I came from, the things that have been done to me, and the things that I have done to point others to Him. I am overwhelmed when I have the opportunity to see a life transformed because my life points to Him. And then I get to laugh in the face of the enemy that what he meant to dishonor me, God can use for His glory and honor.

This post is prompted by Tara-Nicholle Nelson’s
30 Day Writing Challenge for Conscious Leaders.

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POD #10: Handling Unfinished Business

Kasl writes: “to become aware of unfinished business in your life, ask yourself the following five questions.”
Who comes to mind when I think of unresolved grief, hurt, or pain?
To whom do I need to apologize?
With whom do I need to talk over conflict and seek some form of resolution?
To whom do I need to send thanks?
What are the conclusions I’ve made about myself that relate to these situations?

When I wrote about this in September 2017, I could think of only one piece of unfinished business in my life. I didn’t know that I would only have five months to reconnect and resolve before that door closed forever, but it did. I will be forever grateful that I was able to find healing to the grief and hurt, to walk out my apology and to find resolution. I know that God’s hand was on my journey to complete that unfinished business.

unfinishedI am not a person who likes to live with regrets or have unfinished business.  I don’t like to leave things unsaid or undone.  Through the years I have said my fair share of apologies; often apologies from decades before as I come across something that reminds me of words and actions that shouldn’t have happened.

I have made peace with past hurts caused by others.  I have no control over other’s actions or remorse.  I can only allow God to reveal hurts to me and help me to extend grace and mercy to the one who has hurt me.  At times, God has restored that relationship.  Other times, extending forgiveness releases me and reconciliation does not occur.

I give thanks to those who have walked with me on my journey to where I am now.  To those who have hurt me, thank you for the things that I learned from you, both good and bad. You have helped me to become the person I am today. To those who I have hurt, thank you for extending forgiveness and grace to me.  Thank you for holding me accountable and helping me grow. To those who have just stood beside me as I processed past hurt and pain, thank you for the shoulders to cry on, words of advice and encouragement and the arms that supported me when I felt like I couldn’t handle any more.  Thank you for helping me handle my unfinished business.

This post is prompted by Tara-Nicholle Nelson’s 30 Day Writing Challenge for Conscious Leaders


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POD #9: Conditions for happiness

Scan your world. Is there any relationship or project or area of your life in which you have been imposing impossible conditions on your happiness?

Is there any place in your life where you are telling yourself the story that you would be totally happy if only everyone else did exactly what you wanted them to do and everything turned out exactly the way you would do it?

Are these conditions even possible? Is it an impossible demand to expect the whole entire world and everyone in it to comply with your desires? Do you even comply with your own demand list for yourself 100% of the time?

Are you conditioning your happiness on the impossible?

Now: what would it take for you to decide to be happy in that situation regardless of the conditions? Does thinking about this spark any level of fear? Who would you be if you dropped the conditions and decided to be happy, regardless? How would your conversations change? Your relationships?

Can you envision happiness without conditions? What would that be like, to live? Can you feel it, even for a minute?

Alternatively, have you already figured out how to be happy without conditions, even occasionally or intermittently? If so, describe a situation in which you are happy and satisfied even though someone is not doing what you want them to do, or the circumstances aren’t exactly what you’d pick. How’d you get there?

The last time I blogged about my conditions for happiness, I was in a place where I was generally happy and satisfied with my situation.  For the most part, I am still there.  There is little in my life that causes me to lose my joy for very long.  When something starts to make me lose my peace, I have learned to quickly redirect my thoughts or remove myself from the situation long enough to regain my

However, I have found myself lately being discontent, with of all things, the temperature.  I am constantly complaining about how cold it is.  I am certain that if I was somewhere on a warm beach I would be content.    A comfortably 70 degrees plus would be fine year round.

I can not even limit it to the weather.   At home I find that I can not get warm without layers of blankets or without the heater so high I get a nosebleed.  I literally enjoy the hot flashes because for a moment I am warm.  At work, I am also generally freezing, although when I am busy I have less of an opportunity to focus on it, so I just press through.  At church, I am constantly apologizing for my cold hands.

I have always been one that has cold hands and feet.  However, it has never bothered me as much as it has this year.  I have no known health conditions that would cause me to be more sensitive to the cold.  This winter hasn’t even been that cold for our area.  I have lived in this area most of my life; the decade I didn’t I lived farther north with colder temperatures.

Expecting it to be above seventy year round in a location that truly experiences every season is unrealistic.  There are even things about the cold weather that I enjoy.  I love to see the evidence of cold temperatures, snow-covered trees and grass.  I love the spring flowers with dew covered grass.  I appreciate that the cold kills bugs and viruses.

Really I just need to suck it up and keep my mouth shut.  I am in a location that I love, my hometown community.  I am surrounded by the majority of my family.   I have a job I love.  I attend a church that I not only love, but one that challenges me to grow.  I have connections in this community that enable to me help others.  The coldness does not last forever and the temperature should not be a condition for my happiness.  I need to keep my focus on the positive things around me and learn to enjoy snuggling up in my blankets or coat until I find the inner warmth of happiness again.


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Come down

20180308_0732141626947103.jpgA few weeks ago, my grandchildren learned about Zacchaeus in children’s class at church. As they told me the story, childhood memories flooded back. I started to sing to them the song about Zacchaeus.

Zacchaeus was a wee little man,
And a wee little man was he.
He climbed up in a sycamore tree
For the Lord he wanted to see.

And as the Savior passed that way
He looked up in the tree and he said,
Zacchaeus you come down, For I’m going to your house today!
For I’m going to your house today!

Zacchaeus was a wee little man,
But a happy man was he,
For he had seen the Lord that day
And a happy man was he;
And a very happy man was he.

They were excited that I knew the song from thier class. In addition to tye story and song, they colored pictures that had Jesus, the tree and Zacchaeus. Zacchaeus was attached to a string so that he could come down to Jesus as they told the story.

For some reason, my granddaughter’ s picture ended up in the front seat of my truck. As I drove to work this morning, I felt the still small voice saying “Come down.”

Zacchaeus had initially been content to just get a view of Jesus. He climbed up in the tree because He wanted to see Jesus. He never expected to encounter Him, to interact with Jesus. He was just going to be a casual observer.

Lately that has been what’s on my heart. That so many Christians, at times myself included, that are content to just observe the move of God around them. For whatever reason we are content to sit on the sidelines, instead of pressing in, seeking Him for ourselves, and encountering Him.

Jesus all the while beckons us to come down. He desires to have fellowship and intimacy with us. He is not content with a sideline observer. He wants obedience born out of true relationship with Him.

20180308_073245346932738.jpgCome down, and stop making excuses.

Come down, and stop resisting My desire to use you.

Come down, and allow Me to reveal things to you.

Come down, and let me deal with the hidden issues in your life.

Come down and connect with Me so I can teach you to connect with others.

Come down so I can fellowship with you.

Come down so I can purify your life.

Just come down.


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POD #7: Use Your Words

POD #7: Use Your Words

Use your ever-powerful words to speak, weave and write TWO blessings. The first one is a blessing I want you to write and speak over yourself, your life and/or your future. The second is a blessing you’ll write over/about someone else. The someone else might be your dog, your mate, your kidlets or your bestie. It might be our nation or our world.

Extra credit if you can toss in a bonus blessing over someone you don’t particularly like.

Then, write a bit about how it feels to be the bestower of blessings.

To myself:

You know that the power of life and death are in the tongue. Yet too often the words you speak bring death to the current situation and the future that you are longing for. Stop.

Speak truth over your life. Speak His love and acceptance over your life. Speak the Word to combat those things that the enemy has made common messages in the words you speak.

You are a daughter of the Most High God. You are blessed and highly favored. You don’t doubt that fact but you often shrink back from walking in all His favor and blessings. Stop.
Let Him shine through you. You know it is not you. If other’s think that is your motive that is on them, not you. That is not who you are anymore, so let your life shine forth His blessings and favor.

You often resist what He has placed inside of you. You question His voice. Stop.

There are others waiting for what God has placed on your heart. Don’t allow fear to keep you from stepping out of your comfort zone. God has things He wants to say and do through you, but He won’t force you to walk in obedience.

Let Him speak to you. Let Him show you. Let Him be all that He can be in your life. Let Him work through you. Watch and see what He will do when you listen, submit and obey.

To you:

You state that you have never felt like you were accepted. You want acceptance but have never felt it with your family or within the church.

You question if you deserve it. You think you have to earn it, but you know that you can’t. Those are lies from the pit of hell, stop listening to the enemy. God loves you. He sees you as righteous. He sees you as holy.

The truth is none of us deserve the price Christ paid for us. Yet, He died anyway. He knew we might not deserve it, but He still thought we were worth it. Not the collective we, but the we of you and me individually, and every other person uniquely and separately. It has little to do with us, and everything to do with Him. Accept it, You are worth it; God is never wrong.

You still feel like you have to do something. You fall short, then feel even farther away from God. You can’t earn His love and approval. It is there always because God is love. He chose you before you chose Him. There is nothing that you do that surprises Him, nothing that causes Him to approve you less.

I say all this because I want you to accept all that He wants you to have. His grace covers your weaknesses to empower you to live the abundant life He has or you. His mercy offers forgiveness of your darkest sins. His desire is overwhelming blessings for you. He wants peace to overtake you. He wants joy to fill your heart.

I leave you with God’s peace, mercy, grace and blessings. I receive it for myself too.

This post is prompted by Tara-Nicholle Nelson’s 30 Day Writing Challenge for Conscious Leaders

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POD #6: Unlearning

What have you successfully, intentionally unlearned?

And what, if anything, do you want to unlearn now?

I recently unlearned that it is okay to be the first one to reach out in reconciliation. For years, I told myself if someone wants a relationship, they will reach out. I learned this from my mother, who thought that the phone line only ran one way. She would constantly complain about people not coming or calling. However, when it was pointed out she could call or go visit, she didn’t want to be an inconvenience.

I intentionally unlearned this in God’s perfect timing. I wrote the letters, made the calls, and made effort to visit more often than I had anticipated. As a result, I did not just reconcile one relationship, but multiple ones. It has had a ripple effect that is impacting generations. Sometimes not making the effort can lead to a lifetime of regrets. I don’t have to love with that regret.

I have also been unlearning the need to control things. I have always been independent and prefer to be in charge instead of following, especially if it is something that I know about. I am generally okay giving up control only if I am not the expert in the room. wiahLately I have found myself in positions where I feel control is not mine to take, despite knowing. I have found myself deferring to others.

My daughter told me Saturday that it was refreshing for her to see me not take control. It has certainly been a challenge to me personally; at the same time I have peace doing it. I know others beside my daughter have been surprised as I step back when I would naturally step up. I realize I need to stop and think about the implications when I take control and shouldn’t – not only in my life but for others also.

What would I like to unlearn next? How to not be so critical or negative when speaking of others. Lately I find myself asking “Why did you say that?” “Was it really necessary?” It shouldn’t matter that it is truthful, if it isn’t nice and necessary, it doesn’t need to come out of my mouth. And my opinion or perspective does not make something gospel.

Right now I find myself asking those questions after the conversation is over or the words are out of my mouth. I need to get to the point that they come before the words leave my mouth. I don’t need to participate in gossip, and I certainly don’t need to start it. My opinions about others or about circumstances do not have to be shared verbally. So I need to let the unlearning begin.

This post is prompted by Tara-Nicholle Nelson’s 30 Day Writing Challenge for Conscious Leaders



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POD #8: Untether it!

Are there subjects about which the people who know you would say you are psychologically sensitive? Things people avoid bringing up around you? Are there even smells, words, sounds or objects that bring up very painful memories for you?

How intense is the pain? What do you do to avoid triggering it? Sometimes we create everything about our lifestyles, including careers and routines and habits and such, all to avoid being “annoyed”, “irritated” or triggered. This can be the same as designing our lives by accident, by running from challenging emotions and situations instead of running toward love, expansion and the things that would, to paraphrase Liz Gilbert, spark a revolution in our hearts.

What would it feel like if you could be free of it? What would it take for you to be willing to allow it to come up and burn itself out?

I find myself more and more pressing in to those things I used to avoid. I want to be freed from the pain of the past and I know the only way past it is to go through it.

A lot of times, I don’t realize how painful something is to me until God reveals it to me. There are few people who will push past my resistance to make me face the reality of what I am avoiding. Even when I give others permission, they tend to back away from calling it to my attention.

Over the past few years, I have been untethered from a few things that had me bound. God revealed to me that I might have faith in Him, but I didn’t trust Him. That was hard for me to hear, but in order to move past it, I had to admit that it was true and then go forward on learning to place my trust in Him. It was an amazing journey.

He also showed me how I put more stock in what others said about me than what He said about me. He revealed several instances of things that were spoken over me that I was allowing to stop me from stepping out in obedience to Him.

He revealed to me how I had walked in pride and insecurities. It was hard for me to see how the two could go together. As He opened my eyes to how I perceived things, I could begin to let go of the false perceptions.

Closely tied to insecurities, is the newest thing that He is untethering me from. It is the spirit of rejection.

I realize that much of my life I avoided rejection by pushing others away. I found myself developing an “I don’t care what you think attitude.” and believing that I meant it. I built walls that i thought were protection around myself, closing myself off and creating more of a feeling that I didn’t belong.

I find myself being more sensitive to rejection than I ever have been before. I am sure it is more about being aware of the feeling of rejection than actually experiencing it. I am frequently reassuring myself of others perceived actions that make me feel rejected. I find myself voicing it more to others looking for that validation when I feel the pain of perceived rejection.

It’s a process. I know that God is walking me through. He has been tearing down the walls, ever so slowly for the past few years to prepare me for the untethering of my soul from rejection. He has been tearing down the lies that started from childhood to help me see that I belong in Him. He has given me truths to combat the lies that the enemy tells me in the moment.

I am not free yet, but the burden is getting lighter. The truth is coming faster. I am more open to sharing how I feel and then releasing it completely. I am not bound by the chains of the past, just trying not to let new chains form.

This post is prompted by Tara-Nicholle Nelson’s 30 Day Writing Challenge for Conscious Leaders

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POD #5: A bias toward pronoia

Confirmation bias is a cognitive shortcut we all take, all of us humans, wherein we interpret the evidence and facts of our world to confirm our pre-existing hypotheses.  In other words, we find evidence to confirm what we already believe.

In other words, if you believe the world is out to get you, or the world is damaged or bad, or evil wins, you will find evidence of that.

But—and this is very good news—if you believe the world is out to shower you with blessings, that the components of the universe are collaborating to help you out, you will find evidence to support your pronoia.

Write about this: Can you marshal evidence of pronoia at work in your own life? Now or ever?

What has that looked like in the past?

What does it look like now?

What are the things, people or experiences in your life right now that you know are collaborative components in your ultimate highest good, well-being or joy?

What would it look like to practice a bias toward pronoia?

Pro[noia] Tip: Today, can you just notice when something goes really, really right for you, and savor that in silence, even for 20 or 30 seconds

I live with a bias towards pronoia because I know that my God is good all the time.  He has plans and purposes that far exceed my understanding or expectations.  He knows how to orchestrate things that I can not fathom.  Here is just a short story of what it has looked like in my life.

In October 2017, during another one of these challenges, I felt led to reach out to a family member that I had not spoken to in over twenty years.  It was a step out of my comfort zone, but a step of obedience in what I can only call God’s prompting.  I had a falling out with my grandmother after my father was placed on hospice, and had not spoken to her since the birth of my daughter the month following his death.

Shortly following reaching out to her, I was able to introduce my grandmother to her granddaughter.  A short time later, I took my other daughter and her husband and children to visit with her.  Then at Thanksgiving, I was able to introduce her to the newest great-great grandchild, my son and his wife.  They were short visits, but seemed to mean the world to her.  I also gave her pictures of all my siblings and their children that had been taken the year before.  I was able to visit with her and my grandfather a few times, and had a few missed visits as they were sleeping when I came over.

In January, my grandmother started getting sick to the point of hospitalization.  She had problems with her heart, that weren’t new, but were getting worse.  When she first went to the hospital, although her memory wasn’t great, she talked for a few hours about various family members, stories from her childhood, and things about my parents.  She was very upbeat and positive.  Not at all the woman I remembered from our falling out.  I just sat with her and let her talk.  I felt like she was making peace with everything in her life during that time.  She discharged to rehab to try to get stronger.

A few days into rehab, she caught the flu.  At first it stressed me out.   I had went to the rehab to see her, but she wasn’t there.  Due to HIPPA, they wouldn’t give me any information.  When I reached out to my grandpa, he told me she was back in the hospital.  My youngest daughter and I visited her at the hospital. Granny was more tired, but still pretty talkative.  They discharged her home while we were there and I wheeled her out to my grandpa’s car.

intentionA few weeks later, I saw her at home and although she didn’t feel great she sat and talked for an hour.  The following week when I went out she did not sound good at all.  She was so weak that my grandpa had to physically move her around.  She denied any needs, and the nurse had been out to visit her that day.

A week and a half later she was back in the hospital.  My grandpa called me a day and a half after she had been admitted to tell me.  I went and visited her, but she was sleeping.  The following night, I sat with her for a few hours.  She ate dinner, but didn’t talk a whole lot.  When she was ready to sleep, I left her.  The following day, she was very confused basically just saying, yes and no or crying out for my grandpa.  I sat with her for a little while, but didn’t stay long when she didn’t want to wake up to eat.  Saturday she slept most of the day although restlessly and then was transferred to the nursing home for hospice care.  I visited her Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, but she never woke up.  This morning I got the call that she had passed away, just a few hours after I left her.  She went peacefully and was not alone when she took her last breath.

I knew I needed to write out my time with her, however brief. Not for the story, but for the memory.  For myself.

Can I marshal evidence of pronoia?  Absolutely.  Had I not reconnected with my grandma in that moment, she would not have been able to meet her youngest great-great grandchild.  She would not have seen my son or met his wife.  For a moment she got to have my family with her, she got to love and be loved.

If I had not reconnected with my grandmother, I would have lived with the regret of not making peace with her before she passed away.  God knew that I needed to make that move at that time, and He prompted me to do it.  He knew how quickly she would decline and wanted me to have good memories of her and have a little quality time that I could cherish.

Had I stayed in her life, I might have been pushed away by her later as her memory faded and her moods became more unstable.  I might have wanted to shield my children from her instead of bring them into her world.  I might have been put-off by the apparent falseness of her stories instead of soaking them up as cherished treasures.  I don’t know what parts of what she talked about where true or false, but they were real to her, so I’m okay with that.

There have been a few moments since Friday that I have started to go down the path of “why didn’t you take that step sooner?” I can think that God is out to get me, this is not fair, we just reconnected.  But I have stopped myself because I can not go back and change the when.  I can only rest assured that God knew that it was time and He made a way for it happen.

He knew that despite the time apart, she was someone I loved very much.  He didn’t want me to live with any regrets.  He loves me and wanted to overwhelm me with the blessings that only He could time.  He gave me time.  He gave me closure.  He gave me answers to questions I didn’t know to ask.  He orchestrated everything with His time, His favor, and His love for both of us.

This post is prompted by
Tara-Nicholle Nelson’s 30 Day Writing Challenge for Conscious Leaders.

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POD #3: Your intentional vacuum

What are you feeling ready to give up in order to create an intentional vacuum of space for fresh, new life:
. . . in your heart?
. . . in your mind?
. . . in your calendar?
. . . and in your home?
Don’t push yourself till it hurts; be gentle and easy with yourself. What feels like you’re ready to release it?
One Very Important Thing: some people find themselves tempted to wait a long time between reading a particularly challenging prompt and writing about it. Trust me when I say this: if you feel discomfort after reading a prompt, you are about to strike personal growth paydirt.
You might be on the verge of the exact breakthrough you came to this Challenge for.
The sooner you pour your feelings onto the page, the sooner you’ll experience that clearing and space. Holding onto the feelings without the release of putting them onto the page simply prolongs the process and delays the relief. Don’t do that, okay?

In the natural, it is very easy for me to purge things.  At least twice a year I do a deep clean and try to get rid of things that are no longer serving a purpose.  Short of a deep sentimental value, I am not attached to many material things.  This past year I purged my book collection.  I decided that if I had read it, the book could go to a place where others could read it for free.  I go through my closet several times a year and give away things that I no longer wear that are in good condition.  About a month ago, I shredded the majority of the paperwork in one of my filing cabinets.  Purging around my home is a regular task.

I also am not one to hold on to too much emotional baggage from the past.  Once I process things, I can let it go.  Not to say that there aren’t things that enemy uses to trip me up from time to time; just generally speaking I am not one to hold grudges or wallow in past hurts or offenses.  I know that it is not healthy to live in the past, even if that past is just thirty minutes ago.  I am quick to purge my emotions.  I experience them, and let them go.

“In life, you often get what you expect.” 
― Michael Hyatt,My calendar, I am not as good at purging; although I have been doing better.  It is very easy for me to over schedule myself.  There are so many things that capture my attention that I want to partake of, and since I don’t believe in doing things half-way I tend to go all in.  People that know me fairly well know I have very little free time.  It just gets booked up.  Right now I have an intentional margin in my calendar, but it doesn’t always translate into free time due to others schedules (AKA my spouse).  I have purged my calendar, but it is an ongoing take that I have to be dilignent and deliberate to purge.

My mind, I would jokingly say I have short-term memory problems so I often purge information.  Destructive thoughts, I am quick to take them captive.  Negative thoughts, I try not to allow to play too long.  Knowledge, I generally share it.

Maybe it is a blind spot, but I don’t think there are any areas that I am not willing to purge.  There is nothing in my life except family that I could not walk away from if I needed to, although I hope that doesn’t mean I will have to.  I try to keep myself open for fresh opportunities, to take in life as it comes, and enjoy it to the fullest.

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