Strength in the Waiting

”Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!“ ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭27‬:‭14‬ ‭‬‬

When I wait on the Lord, he strengthens me in the process. I feel like it is in the waiting that he prepares us for what Israel coming. It feels like the waiting is the struggle but really it is the strengthening for what is to come.

I remember the months leading up to my mother‘s death; each time she had a rough day I would wonder if it was her final decline. After all, her doctor had used the word hospice when I felt like she was doing rather well. We had already been through a couple years of palliative care before we actually put her on hospice. At the nursing home, I felt less in control because I no longer had access to her doctor I could generally only talk the nurses and the director. It was in the months of waiting and watching that God would prepare me for, strengthen me for her death.

I anticipated that her death would rock my world, as my dad‘s death did. I had spent years as a caregiver to her and almost every capacity. She was one of my closest. Yet I didn’t know God was strengthening me with every bad day. I literally felt a piece that surpassed all understanding when I finally did say goodbye to my mother. And that piece never passed, despite me looking for the breakdown. God strengthened me in the waiting because I stayed dependent on him.

Lord, thank you as I wait on you, you are moving behind the scenes to strengthen me for what comes next.