Searching

I love when I get revelation in an unconventional message, especially when I am searching for it somewhere else. I was laying in my hammock after work, listening to the birds sing God’s praises that never ceased. I was enjoying the light glistening in the leaves contemplating how those little flickers of light represent the light of God’s people in the world; we are in the world but not of it. Praying, seeking, and yet not hearing; that is when I heard my husband pull up.

He was on his motorcycle and generally I will open the garage so he can just ride it straight in to park. This day I hadn’t opened the garage. As I heard the bike idling, I was sure he had paused waiting for me to open the door. I didn’t move from my hammock.  Eventually his motorcycle turned off.  I waited for him to come out to greet me.  He didn’t.

As I lay in the hammock waiting, I pictured my husband walking into the house.  He might call out my name, walk to our bedroom and bathroom where he will usually find me if I don’t greet him from the kitchen or living room.  I figured that when he did not find me there, he would come outside.  He didn’t.  I admit I was a little disappointed.  Eventually I got up from the hammock and went searching for him.  I found him standing in the kitchen.

In that fifteen minutes of waiting and picturing what I wanted, I saw how God is also wanting us to search for Him.  There are things that are straight up available to us from Him. Yet, there are deeper treasures that He wants us to seek after Him for, a searching on our part. It is not that He is hiding, just that He wants us to make the effort to move closer to Him.

A wave of conviction hit me, that sometimes I am content at just waiting for Him to come to me.  As I felt my own disappointment towards my husband not really searching for me, I imagined how I have disappointed God.  I have too often been content to walk through the door, read a scripture, and just stop there.  As if reading the words is all that is necessary.  I stop and don’t let His Word penetrate my heart and change my action or my perceptions.

Other times, I may look a little deeper, I might walk into another room searching, but I stop before I find the fullness of the treasure He has for me.   I might journal and skim the surface of how a Word applies to my life.  I might even dig a little deeper, but I stop short of allowing the Word to transform my life.  I stop searching and just move on to other things.  I know the seed is planted, but what if it could have been something that God would have done “suddenly” in my life if I just pressed in.

Just as I wanted my husband to keep searching, God wants me to keep searching until I have all that He has for me.  Lately there have been some scriptures that when I really searched my heart, gave me a revelation, that I could ponder and meditate on for days.  My heart would leap as I really thought about the passage.  Most were passages I have skimmed over before, but for whatever reason now they are screaming “Jackie, Here I Am, this one if for you.”

Like Luke 6:19

and the whole crowd was trying to touch Him, because power kept going out from Him, healing everyone.

Those simple words I have meditated on for three days.  Maybe in part because of where I am right now.  No, I don’t need a physical healing, but I want to see His power in a real and tangible way.  I am not just searching for something for myself, I want it for everyone.

We had a special speaker, and I had so much anticipation leading up to the man’s messages.  Although it was inspiring, it did not end up looking like I thought it would. I think I had expected this person to come, and there to just be an undeniable move of God that would radiate out through the community.  When I started talking to God about why it had not been more, I got only one word back.  “Preparation.”    What I saw, was that I wanted that manifestation without the preparation.  I want a microwaved move of God, when He is more of a slow-simmer cooking method.  I heard through the messages of the searching for God, individually and corporately.  If I want what the man spoke of, I have to be willing to do what was done before, search God with my whole heart.

This scripture spoke to me because Jesus was not walking around touching a select few.  The people were searching out Him to touch Him.  He wasn’t trying to heal them, the power was flowing out of Him because He was prepared.  He had already been with God in prayer, He was full to overflowing and from that place the power flowed.  Everyone was healed.  It wasn’t a select few, but everyone who reached out to Him.

The Bible says:

John 14:12-14“I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!

Those scriptures together is what I was expecting when the man came to speak.  It is still what I am anticipating.  That we will do what Jesus did.  That Christ’s power in us will flow out.  That people will be healed and lives will be transformed.  That is what I am searching for.  I pray that I will keep searching until it is found.

We all have a decision to make, will we be content with just what God places in our hands outright, or will we search for Him with our whole hearts.  Will be keep searching for the deeper truths or will be satisfied with secondhand passages.  Will we stop our search before it becomes transformative action in our lives or continue searching until His power flows through us to reach the world around us?