Another reason that I have found it hard to focus is that I am afraid. It is easy for me to look productive. I am a task oriented person. I find accomplishment in finishing things, and there are a number of things that I am good at. However, just because I can do something, I have realized, doesn’t mean I should do it. You can think I am productive, when in reality I know I am spinning my wheels.
If I do what I am competent at, no one will ever see that I am not good at everything. If I have to focus on what I am called to do, I am afraid that I won’t be good at it. I realize all people fail, myself included. Along with that task oriented personality is a competitive nature that just wants to be the best. I know that I am not the best at everything and that there are many things I can’t do, but for some reason I like to think others are blind to that fact. I don’t want them to see I am human too.
I know my weaknesses, and if you ask them I will share. If there is a reason for me to share, I will – like if I think that it will help someone. However, I don’t like to let others see my weaknesses without carefully knowing how they may perceive them, especially if they are people who I look up to or admire. I don’t want to be human, despite knowing that I am. Superheroes hide their human identity.
This blog is part of a #Write31Days series on Focus with prompts by #FMFParty. Write 31 Days is an online writing challenge, where bloggers pick one topic and write a post on that topic every day. Five Minute Fridays provides prompts and encouragers writers to free write for five minutes on the prompt.