And I am sure of this: that the One who began a good work among you will keep it growing until it is completed on the Day of the Messiah Jesus.
Philippians 1:6 CJB
My preacher has been doing a series on change, today he was trying to wrap it up. I have seen a lot of change over these past few years in my growth journey. Much of it has been review to me, He has been talking about the importance of renewing the mind, meditating on Scriptures, and resting in the Lord. He reminded that we battle the enemy from a place of victory instead of for victory over the enemy. He started talking about the words we speak over our relationships and how what we focus on is what we move towards. He said “I don’t know why I am stuck on this.” as he continued to drive in the point. I needed the reminder, I let my pastor know as I walked out that him staying on the point was for me.
I know that God has a sense of humor because this morning before church as I was journaling I was drawn to John 10:10 The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come that they might have life abundant. without thinking, I immediately started writing about how I have allowed Satan to steal my joy the past few weeks in my marriage. I have been focused on what my husband isn’t doing instead of what he does right. It is a lesson I learned a long time ago, yet I was allowing the enemy to steal my joy, kill my testimony and destroy my relationship. I have said more than once to my single friends that “There are benefits to being single.” when they ask about me doing something that I had wanted to do but didn’t because my husband was on a different page that day.
My thoughts were not impacting my husband. But my actions were certainly driving a wedge between us. I would give him the standard “I don’t care.”, “I don’t know.” and “nothing” as a response to any question he asks. I would give him looks of disdain even without trying. I wanted him to feel as miserable as I was feeling, because I reasoned it was His fault I was feeling that way.
I know that is not the life that Jesus died for me to have, and I don’t know why I let the enemy into my head. He has no ground except that I give to him. I don’t know why I let negative words come out of my mouth or why I have allowed negative thoughts to captivate my mind. But God started that good work in me, and He will continue working in me until He comes again. There are days, weeks, months and even years that I will walk out what He has taught me. I will be able to walk the walk, and talk the talk. However, if I do not guard my thoughts, it is too easy to lose the ground that I have in Christ. However, I am able to fight from a place of victory, even when I am not walking in it.
Before the end of the message, I sent my husband a message apologizing and repented before God for my actions. Life is never going to look 100% how I want it to, even if I am walking in God’s will. There are too many factors outside that can sway situations away from how things should go. However, I have a choice what I focus on. I have a choice on what I let come out of my mouth. I can choose to allow Him to complete the good work He started in me, or I can halt the progress or even loose ground by not keeping in practice what He has already worked out in me. I choose to let His love work in me to completion.
This blog is part of a #Write31Days series on growth. 31 Days is an online writing challenge, where bloggers pick one topic and write a post on that topic every day.