So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.
This year has certainly been one of learning. Much like Paul was encouraging the Colossians with his prayer, I have had a few ladies faithfully praying for me as I have embarked in this process. It has been a process that started a few years back, but it has escalated in intensity this year. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, those prayers have carried me when I would have rather quit.
I have been going through the Journey discipleship program since February with a small group of ladies from church. I have been through it before and have a lifestyle of journaling that predates the first time I went through Journey. I feel like God is revealing more and more of Himself as I continue pressing in. I am learning on a different level.
When I look back at my journal entries, many of them are about the knowledge that is contained in the scriptures. They are generic in application. Truths to what we should do. This time around, He has been revealing things about me, areas I have hidden from myself where I need His love and grace to heal and transform. Some have laid the foundation of work He has done in my life. He is showing me where I have applied Truth personally. He is also showing me where I need to grow. Where growth has been stalled by my own disobedience or pride.
I also went back through a study called Making Peace with your Past by Tim Sloan. Again, I’m in a different place in my life than when I first went through. I volunteered to facilitate it, when the first time through I didn’t even want to engage, it was just mandatory for the place I was volunteering.
The women in my group this time around were honest and raw with their emotions, something that is foreign to me. It was inspiring to see. Through that process I was able to explore some emotions on a deeper level. Whether they knew it or not they challenged me to learn about my own emotions.
However, emotional work, for me is much harder and exhausting than anything else. It completely drains me. I am not one for physical labor that makes me sweat, but I think I still prefer it to emotional work. I would certainly pick spiritual or mental work over either.
Through my learning, I found that emotional work is a source of my binge eating. When I allow those emotions to surface I turn to food for comfort. That creates yet another layer of healing and transformation that I need His intervention.
Getting from the knowledge to the application of God’s will is where I am working now. On one level it is an emotional work, but on a deeper level it is a spiritual work. God created emotions. Scriptures are filled with them from men and God. I can not close off one area of my life and experience the fullness of God. I have to choose to pursue growth in this area. I have to make an effort to learn what will help me grow. Only then will my actions and behaviors honor and please the Lord. Only as I learn and act on those truths will my life produce every good fruit.
This blog is part of a #Write31Days series on growth. 31 Days is an online writing challenge, where bloggers pick one topic and write a post on that topic every day.