POD #18: The Power of Projection
- Think back to a recent time when you gave someone advice, about anything, big or small. What was it? Can you get any value out of taking this advice yourself? Write a little more about that.
- Think about someone in your life who chronically irritates or puts you off. Describe what it is that bothers you about that person. Is there any way in which you see those same characteristics or behaviors in yourself? Even metaphorically or symbolically?
- Who are your heroes? Explain why you admire them so much. What are their traits that you love and respect? Do you see these same traits in yourself? Write about it.
I have caught myself frequently cautioning myself about giving relationship advise when people are in circumstances similar to what I have walked through in my marriage. I know that our story inspires and gives hope, but I also know that not everyone is called to walk through what we did. I can honestly say, if I had the option, I would not have chosen this path. My husband says he would have, I suppose he is a better person than me.
I know that the major reason for our success is God. My faith allowed me to endure things that I would have walked away from otherwise. And my faith changed me into a person that didn’t drive my husband away when my actions could have. I sought God harder for my marriage than I have any other thing. I knew I needed His guidance. I had to hear things about myself that I did not want to hear. God called me to do things I really didn’t want to do, but my faith in Him gave me the fortitude to do it.
My advice is one I have to choose to live daily, and at times minute by minute still. I know that it is all too easy to fall back in to comfortable patterns and fleshly ways. Some people might not want to admit that marriage takes work. We like the movie version of marriage where the struggles come before happily ever after. There are days when happily ever after are in sight, but all too often I need to be reminded of my own advice. I value the lessons that life has taught me that I share with others, I need to continue to live it.
A trait in others that grates on me is someone who doesn’t listen because they think they already know something. I believe that I can learn something from everyone, but I do typically try to have an answer about just about everything, even if I am Googling it during the conversation. I don’t really know much. What I do know is based on experience and reading. But I give the appearance that think I know everything, so I am sure I grate on others’ nerves with this behavior. I definitely can see myself projected.
Hero is a big word to me, and I am not sure that I really have one. When I think about people who I admire most they are men and women that bring faith into their every day lives. People who allow their passion for Christ to shine through and raise the standard for those around them. I immediately think of the two sisters (nuns) that work in our hospital and clinic. They create a culture with their presence that I have not seen in other places in the same organization. They don’t “push God” they are His hands and feet , He just exudes out of them. I think about the woman who pointed my life onto the right path through being a mentor, Sunday School teacher, and friend. She loved me back to God. I think about two pastors who reach out to the community, not trying to grow their congregation, but in helping those that others have written off. These people don’t see being a Christian as something that happens on Sunday. They don’t advertise their works, you wouldn’t even know their involvement unless your working beside them. These are the people that I admire most.
Do I see myself in those qualities? Sometimes. I bring my faith into my every day activities. I know there are days that I let Him shine through me. Consistent times I act as His hands and feet. I want there to be a purity in me that I see in them. I would love to project what is in them into me.
I think that there have been times that I have been so focused on not comparing that I miss what I am projecting on to others. I often fail to see what in growing in me that I see on the big screen of other’s lives.
This post is prompted by Tara-Nicholle Nelson’s 30 Day Writing Challenge for Conscious Leaders.