Horse in blinders

POD #5: Horse in blinders 

How does it feel, the idea that you get to be the boss of what you focus on?
Do you give yourself permission to ignore what doesn’t serve you? Do you give yourself permission to focus on what does?
What comes up for you when you think of blinders as a metaphor for your internal guidance system, in that it both steers your focus away and towards the right direction for your steps?

I crave being the boss of what I can focus on, no distractions, just being able to put my attention on what is before me.  There are so many things that cause distraction and I know whole heartedly that it keeps me from reaching my full potential.  There are times that I can focus with great intent, and other times I am not sure I could focus to save my life.  Outside of my control are schedules of my family.  However, otherwise I would say I am pretty good at giving myself permission to ignore what I want.  When I lack control of what I want to focus on, it causes me internal stress.

blinderMy coworkers often give me a hard time because I will put my headphones on while on my lunch break.  I will typically listen to a message or book, just thirty minutes of me time in the midst of the busy day.  I allows me to refocus and I can use that time to listen to  something that other wise would not be in my schedule.  I usually try to make it uplifting, yet challenging.

I am completely oblivious to my surroundings during that time unless there happens to be a pause in the speaker I am listing to at the same time someone is seeking my attention.   I have my blinders on.  Yes, there are conversations I miss out on and sometimes pivotal information that gets discussed.  However, I know I need time to focus myself and that means clearing away everything else.

I am not one who focuses my attention to what others think I should be or what I should do.  I have from a very young age charted my own course.  I march to a different beat, and it doesn’t generally matter to me what others think I should be doing.  Every now and then I will hear a comment and take it to heart, but it is the exception, not the rule.

I also don’t get too focused on where I thought I would be in life. For the most part, with the exception of a Juris Doctorate I am where I thought I would be.  I am content with life where it is right now.  I realize to stay content that I have to keep growing and that means taking active steps towards the things I want to know, have and be.  I don’t know what the future holds, but one thing I know is that my steps are directed for a purpose.

I rarely get distracted with comparison of others.  I know deep down that comparison kills.  It kills your dreams.  It kills your potential.  It kills relationship when you are always trying to be someone who you are not, or lifting yourself up or putting yourself down in comparison to another.  I can focus on who I am created to be and realize that it does not take away from me when someone else has other gifts and talents or is stronger in areas that I desire.

I focus on what makes me happy.  I focus on the goals that I have set for myself and the growth that is taking place in me.  I accept criticism if it is constructive, but I decide how it will impact my life.  There are times I misstep because I get my focus of center.  There are times I let others dictate my schedule and I have to find a way to regain focus during those times so I dont get too far off track.  Yes, I care about others.  However, I know at the end of my life I will not look back and question what so and so has done – it will be my life that I am analyzing.  It is my life I will give an account to God for in the end.

This post is prompted by Tara-Nicholle Nelson’s 30 Day Writing Challenge for Conscious Leaders.

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