Fear vs. intuition

POD #4: Fear vs. intuition

When was a time your intuition spoke strongly to you about a relationship, a job or a project?
Is it speaking to you now?
What is it saying now? Are you listening?

I was telling my husband this morning that my startle response has been extremely high lately.  He had walked into the bathroom while I was in the shower and said hello as he opened the door, and yet I jumped.  It is not just because I in the shower, he will often walk in a room and startle me unintentionally. It just started a few months ago.  I believe I know the root cause because I have also stopped taking my morning walks just because it is dark outside, where before I would walk in our neighborhood anytime without pause.

It wasn’t a relationship, job or project but I was walking around the neighborhood one morning, it was about 6 a.m. but the sun had not started to rise so it was still pretty dark.  I was about four houses down from my house when I felt like someone was there.  Not another walker which I am very used to, but just someone.  I paused and looked, thinking my eyes needed to adjust to the darkness.  Then I looked again with a longer pause.  Out of the darkness between two houses, a light from a four-wheeler (Type vehicle) flashed at me, as if to acknowledge “yes I’m here.”  I admit it freaked me out a little, but I continued walking. As I turned the corner to the next road, I took notice of the headlights from a vehicle parked two intersections down from my house.  Which then reminded me there was a vehicle at the opposite end, which is a dead-end also with lights on.  I continued my walk, the fear side of me wanted to contact the police and freak out a little, but the rational side of me said “The vehicles at the end of the road saw where you came out of.”  By the time I rounded back to my house, the sun had started to come up, and the vehicles at the end of the roads were gone.

For as long as I can remember I have been kind of skittish of the dark.  Not afraid, but probably a little more cautious than most.  However, I have always felt safe in my community.  Since that morning, I have had a higher than normal startle response and I really don’t want to be out walking in the dark.

I suppose the writing wasn’t suppose to be so much about fear as intuition.  I would say that most of the time, I trust my intuition.  I believe it is more of the guidance of the Holy Spirit within me than anything.  The times that I have chosen to ignore it, I have been able to look back and see where my intuition said “Do this” and I said “nah.”  I tend to get myself in trouble when I say “nah.”

I believe when I pause and listen, the Holy Spirit speaks.  The key is listening, because at times I busy myself.  Only then do I see the fear come swooping in to remind me of my need for trust in God, and that in order to trust Him I must listen.  Right now my intuition is leading me down a path of growth.  It is not always comfortable, but I am trying to listen and follow where my intuition is guiding me.

This post is prompted by Tara-Nicholle Nelson’s 30 Day Writing Challenge for Conscious Leaders.