Energize

As much as every ounce of my flesh hesitates when it comes to stepping out, when I get to sharing about the Lord it energizes me. Once I take the step out, my shell comes off and I can just let His Spirit flow through me.

Sometimes I am surprised at the things that flow out of my mouth. I often find myself saying “Lord could you repeat that because it was good.” I also find that God doesn’t work through me that way. I might be able to repeat the jest of things, but generally once it is out I don’t remember a lot of the specifics. I figure if I am suppose to remember God will do that but since it is not generally for me, once it is out of my mouth I have done my part.

The words I remember most are things I didn’t speak out. I still remember the first message that I feel like God wanted me to share. I remember where I was. I remember all the prayers that I spoke that day. I remember how I gathered around in a circle with spiritual leaders who were all on the same page. They were praying for revival, and the spirit within me was screaming “repent.”

At that time, God had used me to speak one on one to people, and even a few times in a group. I had never spoken out in a prayer meeting and unless I was specifically called on to pray. I could not imagine speaking out in this small group that was 90% made up of pastors, especially while I was feeling repentance when they were focused on revival. However, I could also feel the Spirit energizing me to pray. I prayed it out, but quietly to myself not corporately.

When I walked out of the church, the energy was still flowing through me. I did not know what to do with it. The spirit within me was radiating, and the fear inside of me had silenced me. I honestly had no idea if it would have even been okay for me to speak out, and I was not about to ask.

One of the “spiritual mothers” of the church came up to me as I hit the threshold of the door. I know that we had spoken before, she was the leader of our prayer meetings generally; I had been coming to the meetings consistently for a while. This is probably one of those encounters that will stay with me forever. She immediately said “You had something.” It wasn’t a question but a statement. It wasn’t that I needed her approval but the validation I received was a gentle nudge from God to step out.

The conversation and mentoring that followed have really helped me grow. I think it really helped me that she recognized that God had given me something to share, because I questioned if it was just me. He always knows what we need and how we will receive it. She encouraged me to step out. She reminded me that it was God’s Spirit within me, not something I am doing. She repeated told me that I have to release it because of it is good for me it is good for someone else. She alto reminded me that as a body, we all have something different to bring.

I realized that once corporate prayer became something I would do, He started giving me words and visions. I really didn’t know about releasing those. I knew It was biblical.

““And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions.” Joel‬ ‭2:28‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I just didn’t know how to share the things I seen. I wanted to be able to research and understand. Generally speaking, I can get lost in research so it could easily be used as a tool in the hands of the enemy to distract me from releasing what God was saying.

I also know that I like to talk. I realized I might have a tendency to say more than was asked of me. I would want to make sure that others understood where It was coming from. Somewhere I was thinking God wouldn’t have been able to do that through me with just His words.

Each time He has taken me to another level, I have been met with that same surge of energy encouraging me to step out. I have had to over come the same type of questions and fears. I have found myself seeking the answer to “is this okay” from the leader who can make that call, instead of waiting for God to bring someone else to validate me. This is still a gift that God is developing me

When it comes to stepping out, it is when we continue to move forward that God energizes His Spirit within us. Growth is a natural part of God’s desire for His children. It is His Spirit within us that energizes us to do anything for His kingdom. If He calls us to it, He equips is to do it.

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This post is part of a 28 days series on Stepping Out inspired by the #Write28Days Blogging Challenge by Anita Ojeda.