At this point of my life, my most Positive Essential Quality is energy: a soul-deep, love-driven, overflowing energy to care for the people and create the projects that matter to me—the projects I know I’m here to do.
The other day, my Lyft driver figured me out in a 30 minute ride. He said: “I’m getting a contact high off your energy!” My essential energy is a very focused energy. I had a friend say to me once that it’s hard to get a meeting on the calendar with me (true), but that once we’re across the table or in the room together, I am 200% in that room, 200% at that table, 200% in connection with the person or thing I’m doing. If I decide to do a thing or engage with a person, I care about it, a lot. And I pour myself into it. Not to a level of dysfunction or detriment, but I do engage, I do enthuse, and I don’t analyze or second-guess that. Your prompt today is to sit with this question: what is your most prized, positive, essential quality at this point in your life? What is that thing about you that is like the candle’s flicker? What is the trait or quality that most purely makes you you? What is at your core? What is your essence? How do you know this? What’s a recent example of a time your positive essential quality came out and showed itself in all its glory? Is it hard for you to think up or write this wonderful thing about yourself? (If it is hard, write more about it, describe it in detail, to get some practice in).
It is midnight, and I am wide awake, a million thoughts running through my head, so what the heck I will catch up on my prompts. I have answered this before with “resourcefulness” which I still stand by as number one. But another essential quality that comes to mind is boldness. As the youngest of five children, I learned if I wanted anything, I had to be bold.
Those who know me in arenas where I feel secure, have a hard time identifying any reserve or shyness in me. People think that I am an extrovert because I am bold. I’m not; I am more of an ambivert.
I am not one who will stay quiet if it is something that I am passionate about, and I can easily be moved to passion with a small bit of encouragement. I have no problem speaking up if something will impact those I care about. If there is a need to be met, I have no problem asking for it – often even if it isn’t something that really matters to me.
I often get appointed as spokesperson. I have no problem being the voice for something, as long as I understand what I’m sharing. People often mistake that I want to be the voice for attention, those childhood days passed a long time ago. If someone else will step up, I’m happy to step back into the quiet shadows. I actually prefer not to be the center of attention.
When I am in a group, I don’t mind speaking up, even if it looks like I may be the lone wolf. If I feel strongly about something, I will speak up and out. I can be persuasive with my boldness. I am assertive with my boldness. I can be loud and overpowering with my boldness. If I feel comfortable, I am bold.
I see this as a flicker, because so many people identify me with bold. Because I know my inner insecurities, I don’t always recognize myself as bold. Yet people comment how I speak with confidence and authority. Yesterday, I had someone randomly come up and tell me what an effective communicator I was. I promise I needed the boost because I felt like I was stumbling over my words all day.
I don’t mind having difficult conversations. I don’t back down from conflict. I am rarely intimidated by someone who has a differing opinion from my own. I will speak boldly in any of these situations because I don’t believe things can change if no one knows there is a problem. I can usually share my opinion with others without changing or attacking someone else’s view. I can present facts with boldness for others to make their own decision. My boldness doesn’t mean I’m always right, it just means I’m willing to put my voice out there as an option.
This post is prompted by
Tara-Nicholle Nelson’s 30 Day Writing Challenge for Conscious Leaders.