POD #4: The Lies We Tell (Ourselves)
What are you telling yourself, about yourself, that’s just not true?
What aren’t you giving yourself credit for?
What do you think you want to be or do or have—physically, spiritually or even emotionally—that you in fact already are, already do, or already have?
I tell myself a couple lies that I have discussed before. Like “Don’t ask” and “It’s not about me.” I am still working to stand on the truth instead of those lies. I know acknowledging them was just the first step. As such, I thought I would acknowledge a few more.
I’ve been doing a study the past two months called The Full Life, a Companion journal for Full: Food, Jesus, and the Battle for Satisfaction both by Asheritah Ciuciu. One of the chapters from the book was about the lies we tell ourselves, I believe she listed ten with the idea that they might be added to digging deeper. I realized, I speak a lot more lies into my life. Lies that I didn’t even realize had a hold on me, even as I read them in the book.
As I set the pen to paper, I thought “yes this lie I tell myself” yet as i dug deeper I realized when it comes to being satisfied in Christ I believe a lot more lies. Lies that have me turning to food instead of God for comfort.
Some of the lies I speak repeatedly to myself tied to this are:
- I deserve a treat….after the day, week, moment…
- If a little of this is good, more is definitely better…as I like on a second helping.
- I will never overcome this battle…with food or exercise.
- I will just eat a little more or skip the gym this once.
- I can’t let this food go to waste…I will just finish it off.
- I will just ___ feelings if I don’t eat what is offered.
- I will feel better emotionally if I just eat this.
- I messed up so so might as well just give up for … The day, the week, the month.
Replacing negative thoughts with the truth is a discipline I typically practice. However, up until that moment I hadn’t realized I was deceiving myself. She provides some scriptures to counter the lies. I set out to write longhand the scriptural truths that countered these lies. In my quiet time, I asked God to help me apply the scriptural truths to my life. It’s a work in progress. I have to continually apply the truths in the moment, and offer myself grace when I miss the mark.
The truth that speaks the loudest to me is “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I know that in my weakness, if I allow Him to, He will make Himself strong. And that in Him, I am more than an overcomes. He won the battle, I just need to walk in the victory.
Another lie I tell myself if that I am not an emotional person. The truth is, I feel deeply, I just don’t express emotions well. I am also not necessarily good at labeling emotions.
I also do my best not to let emotions control me. However, that doesn’t mean that sometimes they don’t. I think it is just not as obvious what emotions are driving me.
I have a desire to learn emotional vulnerability. How to, as Brené Brown puts it, “let courage push me out of my comfort.” I know that I already have a few people in my life that want to be a place of safety for me; I just need to let them be that for me.
A third lie I tell myself is that I have to know everything. I like being an “expert.” Despite knowing that there is so much I don’t know and a lot I no longer remember, I feel like I must have knowledge about all topics. Google has been a great tool in expanding my ability to at least have information I can share if I’m not knowledgeable about a particular topic.
However, the limitations I put on myself because I am not an “expert” are great. Much of my knowledge comes from experience, but too often I won’t put myself out there unless I already have that expertise. Or, I like to research the topic thoroughly before I will give input. Which often means that I miss the opportunity to engage in the moment, waiting for one to come around again. I fail to give myself the opportunity to engage and learn from others, simply because I can’t offer some type of knowledge back.
These are just a few of the lies that I tell myself. I realize that there are likely many other messages I tell myself that are untrue, they just haven’t surfaced yet. I will continue the journey of enlightenment in hope to discover more truths.