Driving home for work today, I was struggling with some words that were spoken about me. Words that cut me, that take me to another place, another time, the hurt. I was asking God if there was truth to these words or if my actions were misunderstood. Did my words, my tone, my directness lead to a misunderstanding. Even if misunderstood, I have since becoming aware tried to do better.
My personality is strong. There is no doubt that I am direct. I am goal oriented. However, I love people and love helping people. That is what I was doing. I asked God if my heart was not in it. I know previously when this was spoken, I had lost my focus. I wasn’t spending the time with God that I need to soften my personality. I prayed
“God if I need to do something different, show me. I don’t want to hurt your people. If I just need to find another way to help her, open the doors.”
As I prayed that I was taken to the 23rd Psalms.
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
I am not a shepherd. What little I have found from unbiased sites (not from a preacher’s sermon) is that the rod was used to protect the sheep. It was used to beat off things that would come to steal, kill, or destroy the sheep. The staff was used to pull the sheep to safety as an extension of the shepherd’s arms.
Neither of these things sound like comfort to me. As a sheep, something is attacking me – there is not comfort in that. Witnessing the shepherd attack someone or something. I find that traumatic, I do not find comfort. I do not find comfort in knowing that I am in an unsafe situation. Having a hook around my neck, pulling me, I do not find comfort in that.
David writes “your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” I know that our comfort is in The Shepherd. But that is not even what David says. In the tools of the shepherd, David found comfort. I realize, that even though I didn’t use shepherd’s terms, that is exactly what I was asking God to do.
“God if I need to do something different, show me. Use your staff on me. Pull me back. If her words are hurting me, use your rod. Don’t let the word’s take root and hurt me. You know my heart, I need to find another way to help her, open the doors.”
Just like the sheep that sometimes goes out to far and exposes itself to the dangers around it, I often put myself in danger of harm. I often try to protect myself instead of allowing Him to. Or I try to set my own path and manipulate to get where I think I should be. More times than I can count, I have needed to repent and ask God to forgive me for trying to do things my way.
I can find comfort when I trust The Shepherd and how He handles things. When I allow my insecurities, my fear of rejection become louder than The Shepherd’s voice, I need His staff to pull me back in to the truth of how He sees me. When people viciously attack, or even speak hurtful words without realizing what they are doing, I have to allow The Shepherd to use His rod to protect me. He becomes my defender. I can find comfort in the things that might hurt me momentarily when I allow Him to use His tools.
This blog is prompted from Tuesday at Ten! The Tuesday blog Link up where you have 1 full week to use the prompt word to your liking! Whether it be just writing a story behind the prompt word, or being as creative as you wish using photos, poems, art, or graphics – whichever creative way you choose. You have 1 week to write and link up your blog at the bottom of the page so that others can link up with you. Be sure to visit your “link up” neighbor and spread the joy of connection!