Sometimes our walk of faith doesn’t look much like a journey of faith as we are walking it out. I have experienced this personally and have heard others talk about how they had so many doubts and fears as they embarked on the journey God placed before them. Then I hear that they could have never endured what I have been through or I think how great someone else’s faith was through a particular trial. We don’t always see the day-to-day struggle of faith being walked out.
I think at times we look at the journeys in the Bible, like those mentioned in Hebrews 11, the chapter of faith, and we forget that they too had human emotions. We forget their great faith had its own ups and downs. I was reminded of a few failures in faith on the pages I have been reading.
Hebrews 11:8 By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going.
This clearly credited Abraham with faith when he was called to go out to the place he would receive as an inheritance. Did the writer of Hebrews skip over Genesis 12:11-13
Genesis 12:11-13 And it came to pass, when he was close to entering Egypt, that he said to Sarai his wife, “Indeed I know that you are a woman of beautiful countenance. 12 Therefore it will happen, when the Egyptians see you, that they will say, ‘This is his wife’; and they will kill me, but they will let you live. 13 Please say you are my sister, that it may be well with me for your sake, and that I[a] may live because of you.”
Abraham didn’t even trust God to protect him on the journey that God sent him on. He opened up Pharaoh to the curses of God by lying to him about his wife. I guess that takes faith! And what kind of man offers his wife up to other men to protect himself? Abraham took his focus off God and placed it on the circumstances.
I will bless those who bless you,
And I will curse him who curses you;
And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”
Or there is Peter who walked on the water. And then sank. He had enough faith to get out of the boat, but he lost the focus of his faith when he took his eyes of Jesus.
It is much the same way with us. There will be times when we step out in faith, where we leave out not knowing where we are going or step out of the boat on to the water. There will also be times where we take out eyes off God and start worrying about things that would be safe in His hands, but aren’t meant to be in ours.
Around March last year I had a dream, God was telling me to quit my job. I didn’t listen. In fact, in the dream I was arguing with my pastor telling him all the reasons that I couldn’t. I did not have peace in my job, and apparently everyone else knew that too. Fast forward to May, and I was fired. I will admit it angered me, because what was said wasn’t true, but it was also humbling.
Has my faith been perfect. Absolutely not. There were days where I wanted to take things in to my own hands and yell from the rooftops about the injustice. Or at least write an ugly letter and get things off my chest. There were days when I had a pity party. There were days when like Abraham that I started worrying about what was happening to me. One thing I did not do is take my eyes off Christ.
God started doing a work in me that needed to be done a long time ago, but I wouldn’t allow it because I was too busy helping others. Had I listened to God and done what He told me, it would have saved me a lot of anguish. But honestly I am glad for the experience. It has deepened my faith and dependence on Him. I got to see Him work impossible things in my life. The blessing have been amazing. It also opened me up to things I had been to busy for before. It also let me rest. You don’t realize how tired you are when you are going nonstop. God has rearranged my life.