There is a prayer I ask of God often, that God would keep me in right relationship with Him, that He would guide me to those that He wants me to receive from, those He wants me to walk alongside of, and those He wants me to pour into. I understand that there is a certain amount of pouring that goes into those I walk alongside and those I pour into, but I have also learned that even those who are pouring into me, need what I have also. I know I need each of these relationships in my life, and at times have struggled feeling like they are not there. Life gets busy with family, work, church and other obligations, but I feel like these are relationships that must also be intentionally cultivated.
All relationships need to start with the vertical relationship that we have with our Heavenly Father from which everything flows. Then there are the Horizontal relationships that we need to help us grow and reproduce in our life. Outside of Moses, who would have been related to everyone he was leading, these relationships don’t come from our primary family based on biblical examples. We will look at the life of three different people and how these relationships looked, although I considered several other like David, Jeremiah, and Peter.
Vertical Relationship
Our first and highest relationship must be with God, everything flows from that relationship, so if we don’t have a right vertical relationship, it is nearly impossible to have right horizontal relationships. We have talked many times that this realtionship is not formed in the church, but in our private quiet time with the Lord. As we sit in the stillness of His presence, as we read His Word, as we spend time in prayer with Him, there is no other way to have relationship with Him. Other things may create knowledge about Him, but we can only know someone through personal interaction, conversations, and time with them.
We see this in the life of all three people we will look at.
Moses’s Encounter
Exodus 3 tells us about Moses, who was a Levite by birth, raised as an Egyptian, and his first encounter with God. Before we can build a relationship, we first must encounter God for ourselves.
Exodus 3:2-6 Then the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a blazing fire from the midst of a bush; and he looked, and behold, the bush was burning with fire, yet the bush was not being consumed. So Moses said, “I must turn aside and see this marvelous sight, why the bush is not burning up!” When the Lord saw that he turned aside to look, God called to him from the midst of the bush and said, “Moses, Moses!” And he said, “Here I am.” Then He said, “Do not come near here; remove your sandals from your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground.” And He said, “I am the God of your father—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” Then Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God.
Moses did not just encounter Christ once; he met with God regularly.
Exodus 33:7-11Now Moses used to take the tent and pitch it outside the camp, a good distance from the camp, and he called it the tent of meeting. And everyone who sought the Lord would go out to the tent of meeting which was outside the camp. And it came about, whenever Moses went out to the tent, that all the people would arise and stand, each at the entrance of his tent, and gaze after Moses until he entered the tent.Whenever Moses entered the tent, the pillar of cloud would descend and stand at the entrance of the tent; and the Lord would speak with Moses. When all the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance of the tent, all the people would stand and worship, each at the entrance of his tent. So the Lord used to speak to Moses face to face, just as a man speaks to his friend. When Moses returned to the camp, his servant Joshua, the son of Nun, a young man, would not depart from the tent.
Paul’s Encounter
Paul is another one who clearly shows the relationships in his life. His first encounter with Christ is described in Act 9.
Acts 9:3-9 Now as he was traveling, it happened that he was approaching Damascus, and suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him; and he fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” And he said, “Who are You, Lord?” And He said, “I am Jesus whom you are persecuting, but get up and enter the city, and it will be told to you what you must do.” The men who traveled with him stood speechless, hearing the voice but seeing no one. Saul got up from the ground, and though his eyes were open, he could see nothing; and leading him by the hand, they brought him into Damascus. And for three days he was without sight, and neither ate nor drank.
Most of the books Paul wrote speak often of his prayers to God, but we also see that he received instruction from Jesus Christ, not while He was here walking on earth, but after Paul’s conversion.
For I would have you know, brothers and sisters, that the gospel which was preached by me is not of human invention. For I neither received it from man, nor was I taught it, but I received it through a revelation of Jesus Christ. Galatians 1:11-12
Jesus
And because Jesus is our main example,
Matthew 14:23 After He had sent the crowds away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray; and when it was evening, He was there alone.
Mark 1:35 And in the early morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went away to a secluded place, and prayed there for a time.
John 10:30 I and the Father are one.”
We know Jesus prayed often to His Father in Heaven. We also know that He is God.
Each person must have a personal encounter with God. Once we have accepted our need for a Savior, we build an ongoing relationship with him through continued prayer, reading our Bible and spending time in His presence.
Horizontal Relationships
Once we have met God for ourselves and are spending quality time with Him building our relationship, there are three other relationships that every believer needs in their life. We all need personal relationships and fellowship with other believers. General relationships are developed through church attendance, Bible studies, and other fellowship.
However, these three relationships are a deeper level. They are more intimate and cultivated through doing life together on a consistent basis. These relationships are for a purpose and may be for seasons with certain people. We will never outgrow the need for the relationships. Those three relationships include: someone who is ahead of us on our journey with Christ, someone who walks alongside us in their own journey, and someone that we are pouring into, planting kingdom seeds into. These three relationships may come from those closest to us, but they may not always start from our closest relationships.
Someone Ahead of Us
We need someone ahead of us in our walk with God. The reality is, left to our own devices we can end up astray like Judas when what we think we know does not line up with what we see. Judas thought the Messiah came to free them from the Roman rule. When Jesus did not do that as Judas thought He should, Judas was disappointed and disillusioned; ultimately betraying Christ to the religious rulers. Proverbs warns up of being over confident in what we think we know.
Proverbs 13:10 Through overconfidence comes nothing but strife, But wisdom is with those who receive counsel.
Having someone who has already walked where we are walking is helpful. We see this in the world with apprentices, on-the-job trainers, peer support, even recovery groups encourage a sponsor who has already walked through sobriety. God’s advice came first though:
Proverbs 11:14 Where there is no guidance the people fall, But in an abundance of counselors there is victory.
Proverbs 1:5 A wise person will hear and increase in learning, And a person of understanding will acquire wise counsel,
Moses’s Mentor
Moses had direct connection with God, yet he still needed advice in the day to day activities to keep from running himself ragged. Left to his own judgement, he was taking on everyone else’s problems for himself.
Exodus 18:13-24 And it came about the next day, that Moses sat to judge the people, and the people stood before Moses from the morning until the evening. Now when Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, “What is this thing that you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit as judge and all the people stand before you from morning until evening?” Moses said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to inquire of God. When they have a dispute, it comes to me, and I judge between someone and his neighbor and make known the statutes of God and His laws.” Moses’ father-in-law then said to him, “The thing that you are doing is not good. You will surely wear out, both yourself and these people who are with you, because the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone. Now listen to me: I will give you counsel, and God be with you. You be the people’s representative before God, and you bring the disputes to God, then admonish them about the statutes and the laws, and make known to them the way in which they are to walk and the work they are to do. Furthermore, you shall select out of all the people able men who fear God, men of truth, those who hate dishonest gain; and you shall place these over them as leaders of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens. Let them judge the people at all times; and let it be that they will bring to you every major matter, but they will judge every minor matter themselves. So it will be easier for you, and they will carry the burden with you. If you do this thing and God so commands you, then you will be able to endure, and all these people also will go to their places in peace.” So Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything that he had said.
Who knows how long Moses had been carrying the weight of the people before Jethro came and counseled him. Jethro was not only Moses’ father-in-law he was the priest of Midian (Exodus 3:1). Jethro was older and wiser than Moses and knew about the weight of leadership.
Paul
Paul had mentors that taught him before his conversion and after. His foundation in the Scriptures was solid before he encountered Christ, he was just bound by the law and persecuting the wrong people.
Acts 22:3 “I am a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia, but brought up in this city, educated under Gamaliel, strictly according to the Law of our fathers, being zealous for God just as you all are today.
Acts 9:10-20 Now there was a disciple in Damascus named Ananias; and the Lord said to him in a vision, “Ananias.” And he said, “Here I am, Lord.” And the Lord said to him, “Get up and go to the street called Straight, and inquire at the house of Judas for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying, and he has seen in a vision a man named Ananias come in and lay his hands on him, so that he might regain his sight.”But Ananias answered, “Lord, I have heard from many people about this man, how much harm he did to Your saints in Jerusalem; and here he has authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on Your name.” But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is a chosen instrument of Mine, to bear My name before the Gentiles and kings and the sons of Israel; for I will show him how much he must suffer in behalf of My name.” So Ananias departed and entered the house, and after laying his hands on him said, “Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the road by which you were coming, has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” And immediately something like fish scales fell from his eyes, and he regained his sight, and he got up and was baptized; and he took food and was strengthened. Now for several days he was with the disciples who were in Damascus, and immediately he began to proclaim Jesus in the synagogues, saying, “He is the Son of God.”
Acts 11:22-26 The news about them reached the ears of the church in Jerusalem, and they sent Barnabas off to Antioch. Then when he arrived and witnessed the grace of God, he rejoiced and began to encourage them all with resolute heart to remain true to the Lord; for he was a good man, and full of the Holy Spirit and faith. And considerable numbers were added to the Lord. And he left for Tarsus to look for Saul; and when he had found him, he brought him to Antioch. And for an entire year they met with the church and taught considerable numbers of people; and the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch.
Jesus
John 5:19 Therefore Jesus answered and was saying to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in the same way.
Jesus did also show seeking out teachers even in His human form, although I believe it was for example, and not because He needed other counsel.
Luke 2:46-47 Then, after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard Him were amazed at His understanding and His answers.
We all need people who can pour into us. People who have already overcome the battles and obstacles we are facing and can offer hope from personal experience. People who help us gain new insight. People who are close enough to see when we are straying off path and who can offer us gentle guidance or direct confrontation when needed to help us continue to grow in our spiritual relationship.
People Alongside Us
As much as we need people to show us the way, we also need people who walk alongside us on our journey. It is easy to think “this is our spouse or other family.” Although Moses did have his siblings walk beside him, we do not see that his wife was really part, outside of the action she took in the circumcision of their children (Exodus 4:24-26). These relationships are ones that may also change over time because where we are in our walk changes. We may not run parallel to those we walk with all the time; we certainly see this in Paul’s walk.
Amos 3:3 Do two people walk together unless they have agreed to meet?
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor; for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up! Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.
Moses
Moses had Aaron, Miriam and Hur to walk alongside him.
Exodus 4:27-30 Now the Lord said to Aaron, “Go to meet Moses in the wilderness.” So he went and met him at the mountain of God and kissed him. Moses told Aaron all the words of the Lord with which He had sent him, and all the signs that He had commanded him to do. Then Moses and Aaron went and assembled all the elders of the sons of Israel; and Aaron spoke all the words which the Lord had spoken to Moses. He then performed the signs in the sight of the people.
Micah 6:4 Indeed, I brought you up from the land of Egypt, redeemed you from the house of slavery, And I sent before you Moses, Aaron, and Miriam.
Exodus 17:11-13 So it came about, when Moses held his hand up, that Israel prevailed; but when he let his hand down, Amalek prevailed. And Moses’ hands were heavy. So they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other. So his hands were steady until the sun set.
Paul
Paul had Barnabas, Silas, Aquila and Priscilla, and Apollos who journeyed alongside of him.
Acts 15:34-41 However, it seemed good to Silas to remain there. Paul and Barnabas also remained in Antioch, teaching and preaching the word of the Lord, with many others also. Then after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us now go back and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they are doing.” Now Barnabas was determined to take with them John called Mark. But Paul insisted that they should not take with them the one who had departed from them in Pamphylia, and had not gone with them to the work. Then the contention became so sharp that they parted from one another. And so Barnabas took Mark and sailed to Cyprus; but Paul chose Silas and departed, being commended by the brethren to the grace of God. And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches
Acts 18:1-3 After these things Paul departed from Athens and went to Corinth. And he found a certain Jew named Aquila, born in Pontus, who had recently come from Italy with his wife Priscilla (because Claudius had commanded all the Jews to depart from Rome); and he came to them. So, because he was of the same trade, he stayed with them and worked; for by occupation they were tentmakers.
Acts 18:24-26 Now a certain Jew named Apollos, born at Alexandria, an eloquent man and mighty in the Scriptures, came to Ephesus. This man had been instructed in the way of the Lord; and being fervent in spirit, he spoke and taught accurately the things of the Lord, though he knew only the baptism of John. So he began to speak boldly in the synagogue. When Aquila and Priscilla heard him, they took him aside and explained to him the way of God more accurately.
Jesus
These three would also fall into the next category of people with Jesus, but Jesus had a different relationship with these three men than the other disciples.
Matthew 17:1-3 Now after six days Jesus took Peter, James, and John his brother, led them up on a high mountain by themselves; and He was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and His clothes became as white as the light. And behold, Moses and Elijah appeared to them, talking with Him.
Mark 5:36-38As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, He said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not be afraid; only believe.” And He permitted no one to follow Him except Peter, James, and John the brother of James.Then He came to the house of the ruler of the synagogue, and saw a tumult and those who wept and wailed loudly.
Mark 14:32-34 Then they came to a place which was named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” And He took Peter, James, and John with Him, and He began to be troubled and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch.”
John 21:16-18 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?”
He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.”
He said to him, “Tend My sheep.”
He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?”
And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.”
Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep. Most assuredly, I say to you, when you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish.”
We all need people who are on their own journey, but who travel alongside of us. Those who help carry our burdens, and we theirs. People we can share the daily struggle with but also celebrate the joys along the way. These people end up in our close circle even if they did not start out there, just because of proximity.
Those we pour into
As we grow in our relationship with God, and as others pour into us and walk along side us, we are also called to pour into others.
Proverbs 11:25 The generous soul will be made rich, And he who waters will also be watered himself.
Matthew 28:19-20 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.
Acts 1:8 But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”
Titus 2 But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded,in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility,sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.
Exhort bondservants to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, not pilfering, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things.
For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works. Speak these things, exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no one despise you.
Everyone has something they can teach those who follow behind. It can be as simple as sharing a testimony of how God has worked in your life. Or a lesson that has really ministered to you. It may also be more of life lessons as you walk out God’s calling on your life and the person learns from how you navigate through difficulties. They may be silent observers but are close enough to see God working. They incorporate what they see in you into their lives, being mentored by you.
Moses
Exodus 24:12-13 Then the Lord said to Moses, “Come up to Me on the mountain and be there; and I will give you tablets of stone, and the law and commandments which I have written, that you may teach them.” So Moses arose with his assistant Joshua, and Moses went up to the mountain of God.
Exodus 33:11 So the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend. And he would return to the camp, but his servant Joshua the son of Nun, a young man, did not depart from the tabernacle.
Deuteronomy 34:9 Now Joshua the son of Nun was full of the spirit of wisdom, for Moses had laid his hands on him; so the children of Israel heeded him, and did as the Lord had commanded Moses.
Moses poured into the life of Joshua. He kept him close because he was training him to take over his role in leading the children of Israel. Joshua would carry out what Moses originally set out to do.
Paul
1 Corinthians 4:17 For this reason I have sent Timothy to you, who is my beloved and faithful son in the Lord, who will remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach everywhere in every church.
1 Timothy 1:2 To Timothy, a true son in the faith: Grace, mercy, and peace from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord.
1 Timothy 1:18This charge I commit to you, son Timothy, according to the prophecies previously made concerning you, that by them you may wage the good warfare,
Jesus
Luke 6:13-16 And when it was day, He called His disciples to Himself; and from them He chose twelve whom He also named apostles: Simon, whom He also named Peter, and Andrew his brother; James and John; Philip and Bartholomew; Matthew and Thomas; James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon called the Zealot; Judas the son of James, and Judas Iscariot who also became a traitor.
Matthew 10:1-3 And when He had called His twelve disciples to Him, He gave them power over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease.Now the names of the twelve apostles are these: first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother; Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James the son of Alphaeus, and [a]Lebbaeus, whose surname was Thaddaeus;
Matthew 28:18-20 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.
John 17:6-19“I have [manifested Your name to the men whom You have given Me out of the world. They were Yours, You gave them to Me, and they have kept Your word. Now they have known that all things which You have given Me are from You. For I have given to them the words which You have given Me; and they have received them, and have known surely that I came forth from You; and they have believed that You sent Me.
“I pray for them. I do not pray for the world but for those whom You have given Me, for they are Yours. And all Mine are Yours, and Yours are Mine, and I am glorified in them. Now I am no longer in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to You. Holy Father, keepthrough Your name those whom You have given Me, that they may be one as We are. While I was with them in the world, I kept them in Your name. Those whom You gave Me I have kept; and none of them is lost except the son of perdition, that the Scripture might be fulfilled. But now I come to You, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have My joy fulfilled in themselves. I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctifythem by Your truth. Your word is truth. As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they also may be sanctified by the truth.
All of us are called to take what we have learned and what we have experienced and help others grow in their walk with the Lord. We will always be farther along than someone that we can help in their walk with God.
Ultimately, healthy spiritual relationships flow from a right relationship with God. Like Moses, Paul, and Jesus, we need people who are ahead of us to offer wisdom, people beside us to share the journey, and people behind us whom we can encourage and disciple. These relationships may change with each season, but our need for them does not.
May we prayerfully recognize the people God has placed in our lives, humbly receive what they offer, faithfully walk alongside them, and generously pour into others so that we all continue to grow in Christ and advance His kingdom.
Can you identify these people in your life?
Are there relationships you need to cultivate more intentionally?
Or relationships you need to take before the Lord to find?
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