Clanging Cymbal

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. I Corinthians 13:1

I spent much of the early years of my life, and early years of my marriage as a clanging cymbal or a noisy gong. I have always been a very blunt and outspoken person. No one ever needed to guess where I stood on a matter, I would state it clearly, especially if it was something that I held any passion about. My words were rarely tempered, regardless of who I was speaking to at the time.

Motherhood and wifedom did not change that. I loved my husband and my children, but my mouth was anything but loving. I cam admit that easily now. I was so broken and angry; they were my safe place. I realize to them, my home was probably a bunch of noisy gongs.

I think about that, and realize how even the positives could have been drowned out. I picture someone continually clashing the cymbals together, all the while my mouth is moving and no one can hear me. It is no wonder everyone in the house had selective hearing.

My kids are grown now and I have been able to admit my faults and failures in seeking their forgiveness. I am thankful for their forgiveness, and God’s grace. I am blessed to have a husband that could love me through the noise. I am thankful for God’s love that has transformed my life and my love. While I am still a work in progress, my heart is full of His love. I can pour love out to my husband, children and others. God has infused my words with love. My family knows my heart towards them, but I believe that can hear better now as the gongs and cymbals have definitely lessened.

Prayer – Lord, thank you for teaching me to loveso that I can give love to my husband, children, and others. Thank you for your grace, and the honor of being able to share You with others.