I was scanning my emails this morning, and saw the Five Minute Friday prompt word PERMISSION. And immediately I thought, why is it that I fail to step out where I know God has called me? He has given me permission. He equips me. He calls me.
The failure comes in that I haven’t given myself permission to succeed. I give myself permission for what I know that I can do. I want to be good at things that I do. If it comes to me, then I will do it, but I generally will not step out into something new.
I never thought about it in that context before, but as soon as I read that prompt, my spirit immediately quickened. “I have to give myself permission to step out, even if I fail. I have to risk failure to give myself permission to succeed.”
I don’t put myself out there, because I don’t want to fail. Yet, I can never succeed at what God has created me for if I don’t put myself out there. It is a destructive cycle of my own making. I want to do what He has placed in my heart, but I don’t do what I need to do.
My purpose, as is true for each of us, is bigger than myself. If I could do it though my own ability, I would not need God. I have to be willing to trust Him regardless of whether I succeed or fail. I have to trust He has a purpose in the process, whether I succeed or fail, if I will just give myself permission.
I might just find that I can enjoy the process, regardless of the outcome, if I give myself permission. Maybe God has been showing me that in other areas where I know I have less to loose. I have a deep appreciation for crafty people. I see things, and think “It would be cool to be able to do that.”
Arts and crafts by Jackie tend to look more like a child’s project than a beautiful work of art. I have tried my hand a painting, scrapbooking, cooking, baking, quilting, and refurbishing furniture. Each was enjoyable, but I can definitely say most ended in a work that only my momma would want to display. Even I have hidden my “art” away or quit the project before I was finished because my project was not a success in my view.
Recently I decided I wanted to try mosaic tile. I watched a few videos and decided to give it a try. I collect crosses, so thought I would plan a project while my grandchildren were visiting to occupy some of their time. I knew that I would want to walk through completing one before I committed to the project with them. I bought the stuff to complete a large cross. I sat at my table frustrating myself because I could not create the pattern that I wanted. My husband, knowing my tendencies said “Stop, just let it fall into place.”
I gave myself permission for it to not be what I expected it to be. I definitely would not say that I have mastered it, but I have crosses on my wall that I made and that were made by my eight and six year old grandchildren. If I look closely, I see the imperfections, but the process was fun when I gave myself permission to just let it be.
Looking back, I realize that my husband encouraged me to give myself permission to succeed, even if it didn’t look like I thought it should. I love the finished product. If I give myself permission to succeed or fail, I can learn to enjoy the process. I might just find I like the finished process of the work God wants to do in and through me too!
This post is part of the weekly Five Minute Friday link-up!