There are decisions that we make every day that help determine the space we live in. Whether we live in the broken space or decide to live in the space of healing is largely based on our decisions. There are times when the decision is made on a moment by moment basis. As we begin to make the move towards healing, those moments of staying in the broken space grow shorter and farther apart. However, if we don’t intentionally make the decision to move towards healing, the natural inclination is to stay focused on the broken space.
As much as we hate being broken, it is the space we know. It may hurt terribly, but it is controlled. Even when in the moment it is not controlled, like in the instances of abuse, we have usually learned the cycle. It is controlled in that we know what to expect, even though it is not pleasant. At times, because we know the cycle so well, we can even expedite the painful, just so we can get through it.
This is why so many people seem to take three steps forward and one step backwards during the healing process. In the moment wanting to see healing is a motivation for change. Yet every step is met with opposition, and so turning back to what is known is easier. Until it isn’t anymore.
Making the decision to move towards healing can be scary. Living whole is unknown to someone who has only known brokenness. Whole is forgotten for someone who has lived in the broken space for too long. Reluctance to take a step is normal. Taken a step towards healing when the path is unseen takes courage.
If your still in a toxic relationship, making a move towards healing will be met with resistance. You may need to proceed with precaution if there is any concern over safety. Even in healthy relationships, changes can be met with resistance because as one person makes a change, it forces change on others too. Make a choice to heal anyway.
You might decide you need to make small steps, with things you really can control.
- You might make a choice to look for positives and meditate on those things throughout the day when the broken space is calling your name.
- You might make a choice to make a healthy connection with a therapist, a friend, a support group, a local church, or civic organization.
- You might make a choice to read a book about healthy boundaries or something else that will help you in your healing process.
- You can make a choice to forgive and move forward.
- You might make a choice to do something for yourself.
Only you can decide what step you want to take to begin moving towards healing. Only you can decide to stop focusing what is wrong and looking towards where you want change to occur and focus on making those steps. Only you can make the choice to chose courage over comfort and control. You can choose to make choices to make you or continue to let life break you.
This blog post is inspired by Anita Ojeda and the #Write28Days Challenge. The challenge is to write 28 days in February. For more posts on this topic go to Broken Vessel.