POD: A new story of ease

 

As we move into the portion of this Challenge where we start getting seriously into activation mode, write about this:
What about your future dream, destiny or the life work to which you feel called have you been telling a story of dread, difficulty, fear or doubt about? What is that story? Who have you been telling it to?
Would you like to tell a new story about this part of your future? What payoffs have you been getting out of telling the old, hard story?
If you would like to tell a new story about your future and you’re ready to let the old one go, go for it. What’s your new story of ease in how your life’s work will come to fruition and your creative dreams will come to pass? Be playful, fantastical and light in this one; tell yourself a story of fresh, new possibilities that start now. Have fun!

Two years ago, my husband made a declaration that he wants to move away from my hometown.  This is the same hometown I spent ten years trying to get back too after thinking I wanted to move away.  His dream was certainly not my dream.  I love the community that we live in, the entire region is my home.  It is where I was born, grew up, graduated, had my children.  It is where most of my family is also.

I met his request with multiple rebuttals of why we needed to stay – distance, family, language barriers, relocation expenses.  Then I moved into providing him with a list of conditions that would have to be in place for me to consider moving, not easy tasks, but doable ones. For example learning Spanish so I can work, my husband has to quit smoking for a year and use that money.  Jobs in my field require that I be fluent in written and spoken.  He bought me Rosetta Stone and I have been working with it.  I find that it is much easier for me to read  than it is or me to speak and understand.

We also discussed letting me assimilate into the country and him supporting us.  Although that is a beautiful thought, I was still resistant.  We discussed buying a home there and using it for vacation and extra income until we are ready to retire.  Then the hurricane hit and I thought that his fascination with Puerto Rico would end.  It has slowed a bit, but it is still there.

This year we visited a few other islands and I thought they would show him what he enjoyed was a vacation.  In our travels, I fell in love with a particular location.  All of a sudden all my rebuttals disappeared, my conditions stopped, and I said “Let’s move.”  We talked about planning our next vacation there with the purpose of really looking at opportunities.

When we returned home, I started looking at jobs, housing, and churches.  Not like casual searches; seriously talking to employment recruiters, listening to online messages from pastors in the community to find one that challenged me, and looking for both rental properties and real estate to purchase.

Then I started researching what it would take to go, and the locations list of requirements make mine look like a simple grocery list.  They have restrictions to just visiting.  Permits, red tape and hoops have to be jumped through to live there.  Buying property is the easy part; getting permission to live and work there are the barriers.  I found myself letting doubt take the lead.    Despite the deep desire in my spirit, I found myself just wanting to say “Oh well, not meant to be.”  I started telling myself this and my husband.  Yet I still feel drawn, like I did when I moved away the first time.

I realize by telling my husband and myself this story of doubt, I don’t have to step out farther.  I can tell myself, “I tried.”   I can let this location be my Camelot that can never be reached.  I can share my disappointment and stay comfortable right where I am.

What if I focused on this dream and goal much like I do other things in life.  I can break down the barriers into smaller steps.  Yes, it may take longer than I want it to.  However, the reality is the timing is God’s not mine if it is to be.  What if I persistent pursue the leads and work with the proper people to make things happen.  The reality is I can have my dream, I just have to pursue it.  I can have the helping career of my dreams, in a warm location, with water all around, my husband by my side, and a community that will encourage and support me spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally.

This post is prompted by
Tara-Nicholle Nelson’s 30 Day Writing Challenge for Conscious Leaders.