How do you know what you know?

POD #27: How do you know what you know?

Who am I? It’s a thought provoking question we all ask at some point. Forming our identity is a stage of development that we all go through.  I believe that we go through it more than once.  As we reach milestones in our lives that completely change our roles, how we identify ourselves changes.  Who I knew myself to be as a child, there are still some truths there, but much of what I held true of myself at eight, changed when I became a teenager.  Who I am again changed when I became a mom, and when I entered adulthood, and again as my children became adults.  Even who I was last year is different than the person I am now, because I continue to grow personally.

However, the fundamental truths that I know about myself don’t change.  I do come to understand them at a deeper level, but they are truths that withstand the passing of time.

A few of the fundamental truths I know about myself are:

I know that I am loved. Understand there are days I feel unloved.  I feel like no one in the whole world likes me, let along loves me.  The thought crosses my mind that others just tolerate me.  At the core of my soul, I can hold on to the truth that I am loved, regardless of how I feel.  Christ loved me so much He volunteered to take my place so I could be in relationship with God.  That is love. I am in right relationship with God, because of Christ.  I am loved, because God is love.  I am loved and that is not dependent upon me.  It is true because God is love.  I was blessed to learn this at a very young age, and it is a truth that can withstand any other voice in my life.  All I have to do is be still and listen.

I know that I am never alone.  Again, there are times in my life I feel very alone.  I feel left out and forgotten, but the truth that I can hold on to in those moments is that God promised He would never leave me or forsake me.  It doesn’t matter where I go, what I do, He is there.  Despite the rebellious life I lived as a teenager, I know this truth really kept me from going down a darker path. I knew back then God was with me.  I know that He is always with me.

I know that I am God’s child. I remember the weekend after my mother’s death, I was sitting in church and was overcome with the fact that I was now an orphan.  My father had died twenty- years earlier, but now they were both gone.  A wave of grief came over me and I felt like the world was going to collapse around me.  Then, that still small voice said, “You are not an orphan, you are My child.”  Almost seamlessly, the praise and worship team began to sing the song “No longer slaves.” My heart was filled with the knowledge that I really am God’s daughter.  I am His child and no one can take that from me.  Even as I type this, listening to the radio – the song just came on as a sweet reminder from my Father.

I know I am a work in progress. When I was a little girl we used to sing a song:

He’s still working on me,
To make me what I ought to be
It Him seven days to make the moon, and stars, Jupiter and Mars,
and He’s still working on me.”

Just as Michelangelo took years to create the statue of art David, I am a masterpiece being created by God.  It is said that Michelangelo said of his piece “I just removed everything that was not David.”  That is exactly what God is doing in my life.  He is just removing everything in my that is not part of His masterpiece.  Unlike Michelangelo, God has to deal with my desire to control the process. I am thankful that God is not deterred by me.  Instead I am just His work in progress.

I know I have a purpose in this earth.  There are days, weeks and even months that I question what that purpose is.  Yet I know that it is more about God working out things in me that would destroy the purpose he has for me.  I do not believe that God will leave me here on this earth once my purpose is fulfilled.  I believe that is part of His predestined time.  Until then He will keep working on me and I will keep growing in the plans and purpose for my life.