Perfect Peace. That is the only way I can explain the past ten months. I never thought that I would be able to deal with the death of my mother, let alone stand in peace at her side as she passed. My trust has been in God and God alone through this time.
When my father died I thought I had my thoughts fixed on God, but I didn’t trust God. I had no peace when my father died. I was standing in faith for my father’s healing, it didn’t happen this side of heaven. Peace was nowhere to be found. I was distraught, my world came crashing down around me.
Truth be told, I thought I would be worse with my mom. It is not that I am walking though this journey without reaction.
I have done that before too.
Walking though things void of emotion.
Going through the motions of life without really living.
Despite the weight of the world, my thoughts stayed firmly fixed on God. And the peace, I can’t even describe it. I allow myself to feel. Now I realize that peace goes deeper than the emotions of sadness, fear, and rage. Tears still come. Memories still flood my soul at the least opportune time.
Peace surrounds me because my focus is on God.
My trust is in Him and the journey that He has brought me through. The lessons I have learned through my walk with my mother and even from my walk without her have brought a deeper sense of peace. I feel like I am a better person, in a better place, in a better state of mind and a better place spiritually than I would have been had I not taken this journey.
This blog is part of a #Write31Days series on trust. 31 Days is an online writing challenge, where bloggers pick one topic and write a post on that topic every day