Control, it’s a big word for just seven letters. As children we quickly learn that we want it. We spend our life trying to gain it. As aging adults we eventually lose any control we thought we had.
The past year I have found there is so much outside of my control. At the beginning of the year I started out with one word. Trust. I quickly had to put it into practice as I placed my mother on hospice. I gave up my normal schedule of activities to spend as much time as I could with her.
In March she passed away, and my trust had to take me new places. Learning to again let go of what little control I felt I had to allow myself to walk through the grieving process. Allowing walls to come down to share my thoughts and emotions with others was another area trust had to grow.
As I allowed myself to find a new normal, my routine was shook up again. Loosing control of my schedule and every part of what I was used to doing. For two weeks in August every area of my schedule changed. This might not seem like a big deal, but as a control freak with no control it was a definite walk of trust. Two months later, although some things have a new routine much is still up in the air and outside of my control.
I realize the only thing I really have control over is how I respond to change. I choose the attitude I carry with me. Minute by minute I choose how I respond. I have to trust that the God who really is in control has my best interest regardless of what circumstances say. Trust is a seed planted in faith that will move mountains if it is placed in the right One.
The journey ahead of me is new. As I step out of the control phase and step into the trust walk. The journey is unknown to me, but the One in control knows the end. If I keep my eyes on Him, I will see that nothing is impossible with the One truly in control.
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