Go Deeper

I stood at the shoreline letting the waves splash against my bare ankles.  I was surprised when my calves were immersed in the salty water and the thick jean material clung to my skin.

I hate very few things, but I truly hate the feeling of wet pants on my skin.  But I couldn’t turn and walk away.  I was mesmerized by the tiny people in the distance. The little boards that they stood on and how they rode the waves for what seemed like forever.  Especially to me…standing on the shoreline.

They waited patiently for the right wave.  I was almost knocked to the ground by the sheer force of the waves they let pass them by.  They were in the midst of the rolling tides, I was standing on the shore, only intentionally letting the water and sand cover me feet.

And in the midst of my admiration for the surfers, something deeper stirred.  They were experiencing the fullness of the ocean.  They were experiencing the movement of the water with their full body.  They were waiting on the next big wave. I was experiencing a small piece of what was available staying in the shallow waters.  I was being moved, but only by the sheer force of the water’s movement against my resistance.  I was fearfully anticipating the next wave.

I thought about how many times in my life I have stood on the sideline instead of joining in to an experience.

I stand there on the edge of experience, wanting nothing more than to go deeper.  Deeper in my relationships, deeper in my involvement and commitment, deeper into my calling.  I don’t want to stand in resistance; I want to go with the flow – not necessarily of the crowd, but of who I really am.  I want to experience the fullness of who Christ called me to be.  I don’t want to shrink back in fear.  Afraid of the rejection….Afraid of failing….Afraid of not really fitting in….Afraid of what other’s might think or say….

That is not who I was called to be. Life can continue to pass me by, or I can take the plunge and go deeper.