I am here {#Tuesday@Ten}

Last year, I spent much of the year wondering where I was going in life.  I love receiving the confirmation that God is speaking to me.  I don’t care how many times he confirms, it always amazes me.  I am in awe that the God of the universe talks to me.  Usually confirmation comes in threes, but lately it has been so evident of confirmation because the exact same thing He and I have been talking about in private is said from the pulpit or from the evangelist on television.

Confirmation really blows my mind.  Trust is an issue to me.  I don’t trust anyone completely, and that includes myself.  This means that God pretty much has to knock me upside the head to convince me that what I am sensing is really Him. I am past the stage of wanting things my way (Although I admit I can still fall in to that pattern if people let me), I want to know that what I am doing is what God has called me to do.

As the new year started my prayer was that God would help me to obediently trust Him.  I have never had a problem seeking God, even when I walked away from Him, He was there pursuing me.  I love reading His Word, memorizing, meditating, studying.  It is natural for the learner in me.  I have faith in what it says, I am learning to trust that it applies to me personally.

Obedience has been an issue.  Somethings are easier to obey than others.  The big things come easy, they are a part of my DNA now.  As the months, years and decades have passed in my walk with Him, the things to be obedient in have become much more specific.   It is the little things – do this, say that, don’t do this.  My biggest problem is that I don’t trust so I second guess if this is me, Him, or a combination.  In addition, these little things are usually uncomfortable.

Yet this week, as I have strived to obey, He has shown up every time.  He told me to say something to two different people.  And as nervous and uncomfortable as it was leading up to me speaking, the conversations that pursued after was good.  He turned the simple act of giving someone clothes into a door for cooperation.  He took a conversation in prayer and confirmed it with a message.  He took an act of worship and turned it into a deeper revelation of what He is calling me towards.  He took a conversation with a friend, and turned it in to encouragement for us both.

I am beginning to see those little things as a privilege.  Still some things I am frightened by.  Still others I am inconvenienced by . Most are definitely out of my comfort zone.  Yet, as 2016 starts I know, I am here.  I am here learning to trust and learning to obey at a deeper level.

This post is prompted by the Tuesday@Ten blog Link up where you have 6 full days to use the “prompt phrase” as a part of your writing.  Whether it be just writing a story behind the phrase or being as creative as you wish using photos, poems, art, or graphics – whichever creative way you choose.  You have 6 days to write and link up your blog at the bottom of the page so that others can link up with you.