If I could change anything {#Tuesday@Ten}

If I could change anything, right now it would have to be a selfish thing and I would say my level of self-control and discipline.

Yes, I realize the self-control is a fruit of the Spirit and that I just need to allow it to develop in my life. I also realize that the discipline is something that is developed through commitment and determination. For some reason, my commitment and determination just isn’t there when it comes to the long-term change of health.

For the past 20 years I’ve struggled with my weight. It doesn’t seem to matter if I exercise or don’t; wether I eat right or don’t. I can’t seem to develop a habit that makes that lasting change. I’ve heard that it takes 40 days to develop a habit and yet, I can do something for 6 months straight when it comes to health and then drop it.

I can’t understand how so many people make it look so easy to exercise daily. I set my mind to do a 5K. I got up an hour early five days a week. Once I completed it, I stopped exercising. I set my mind to learn to ride a bike, stayed up late to ride the bicycle after it cooled.

I can follow a specific diet plan for several months.  I have even when lead, done 21 and 40 day fasts.  But then don’t understand how I can do it for so long and yet throw it away in the blink of an eye.I have a problem with eating when I am bored, sad, angry, overwhelmed emotionally.  Food is a social thing.  I struggle  to eat healthy.  I binge eat with incorrect proportions.

So if I could change anything, right now it would be my discipline and self-control in regards to healthy living.

 This blog is prompted from  Tuesday at Ten! The Tuesday blog Link up where you have 1 full week to use the prompt word to your liking!  Whether it be just writing a story behind the prompt word, or being as creative as you wish using photos, poems, art, or graphics – whichever creative way you choose. You have 1 week to write and link up your blog at the bottom of the page so that others can link up with you. Be sure to visit your “link up” neighbor and spread the joy of connection!