Hebrews 13:5 NKJV Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
I struggle with a fear of rejection. Some of that fear came from the fact that most of the people knew me best are gone. The leave came from death but it left a hole in my heart. Or that my mother, for the most part has left me mentally due to dementia. Or that distance has created a gap in relationships because I didn’t take time to stay connected in life’s busyness.
The feeling started as a child, and well, followed me in to adulthood. I didn’t recognize its roots in childhood, until I really started processing my feelings over the past year. I found in my lion exterior was a child who felt rejected.
As I processed my childhood, I realized the rejection I felt was imagined. The adult circumstances that surrounded me, that I was to young to comprehend. The devil used them to build a lie upon. It wasn’t rejection, it was God’s protection, not only for me, but for others also.
I realized that as a young adult, some of the rejection I felt was if my own making. I had built walls around me, based on my childhood perception. Walls I thought would protect me, but in reality created the very thing I wanted to be protected from.
I also realized, that another part of that rejection was a sanctification process. God removing from me, people who did not belong in my life. People that might deter me from the calling and purpose He has for me. Not that the people were bad, or that I was better than, but that we were on different paths that may intersect at a better, more opportune time.
I also realized, and this one was something I knew in my heart from a child, that God did not reject me. In fact, His promise is to never leave me. As I looked around in light of the revelation, I realized I am accepted. I am surrounded by people love me, and those times where I felt rejected had other purpose in my life.
So I chose to leave, intentionally. I leave those false feelings, those wrong perceptions, that rejection. I leave it. The false power it had over my life. I take it back. I leave the negative effects, and take with me a corrected view. I leave rejection here.