Scripture: Hebrews 13:5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
How this Scripture applies to my life: I struggle with a fear of rejection. Some of that fear came from the fact that most of the people who knew me best are gone. The leaves came from death, but the losses left a hole in my heart. Or that my mother, for the most part, has left me mentally due to dementia. Or that distance has created a gap in relationships because I didn’t take time to stay connected in life’s busyness.
The feeling started as a child, and well, rejection followed me into adulthood. I didn’t recognize its roots in childhood, until I really started processing my feelings over the past year. I found in my lion exterior was a child who felt rejected.
As I processed my childhood, I realized much of the rejection I felt was imagined. I was too young to comprehend the adult circumstances that surrounded me, so I created my own story to make sense of the circumstances. The devil used my limited understanding to build a lie upon. It wasn’t rejection, it was God’s protection, not only for me, but for others also.
I realized that as a young adult, some of the rejection I felt was if my own making. I had built walls around me, based on my childhood perception. Walls I thought would protect me, in reality, created the very thing I wanted to be protected from.
I also realized that another part of that rejection was a sanctification process. God removing from me, people who did not belong in my life. People that might deter me from the calling and purpose He has for me. Not that the people were bad, or that I was better than others. The separation was because we were on different paths that may intersect at a better, more opportune time.
I also realized, and this one was something I knew in my heart from a child, that God did not reject me. In fact, His promise is to never leave me. As I looked around considering the revelation, I realized I am accepted. I am surrounded by people who love me, and those times where I felt rejected had other purpose in my life.
So now I chose to leave, intentionally. I leave those false feelings. I leave those wrong perceptions. I leave that rejection. I leave the false power it had over my life. I take back my life, because it belongs to God. I leave the negative effects and take with me a corrected view. I leave rejection here and cling to God’s promise.
Expression of my heart and mind back to God: Lord, thank You for the promise that You will never leave me. Thank You for showing me the roots of rejection in my life. I ask that You pull out every lie that was built on those false beliefs. I ask that You give me eyes to see Your hand in every loss in my life, help me to see Your plans and purpose in it all. Help me to leave it all at the foot of the cross. In Jesus name, Amen.
Restoring Voice 