I have been feeling led to start working on a group about marriage. I mean I teach relationship classes and relationship skills to couples. It is material that I have been taught, and some that I have learned, but none that I feel completely passionate about. God has been leading me more to take time with the things I teach others and really apply His word to it, instead of the secular training I have.
So here are some initial thoughts about marriage that I quickly used to respond to a dear sister of mine about marriage.
- You have to stop and make your marriage a priority. He should also, but one person can make the difference. Think about all the things you do in a day – do your actions show that you value 1) God, 2) Your Spouse 3) Your Children? So many times we put all the unimportant things first and neglect the things that should have our attention. We allow cooking, cleaning, work, the computer, the television, the ____ fill in the blank to take priority in our life.
- As Christians, as wives, as mothers, we have to turn to God as the supreme source on relationships. That is what he created us for. As a wife you are called to respect your husband and submit to him. As a husband he is called to love as Christ loved the church. Unfortunately, our society has failed to recognize what God pointed out a long time ago – and that is relationships work in cycles. One person does their part, and the other eventually responds as they should. Our society has taught us that we are supposed to get love, to give love. But the Bible says it is more blessed to give than to receive.
- I Corinthians 13 says Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. Start practicing, even when it is hard, loving your husband. Love him – God’s way. Pray for him. Pray that God will give you a heart for your husband again. Start showing him patience. Start speaking kindness to him. Do not be envious when he does not immediately respond. Do not say “I am trying, He is not” – that is boastful and proud. Treat him with respect – it may have to start in the common courtesies we allow strangers, but seem to hold against those who are closest to us.
- As far as no money and mixed schedules, Make time and invest in your spouse. Your marriage has to be a priority. Stay up 30 minutes to an hour later. It is free to offer a helping hand. Compliment him on the little things you have been taking for granted. Talk. Play a game. Take a walk together. I know we keep things G rated, but sex is free and it is in marriage God rated. Put the moves on your man. You know what your spouse would appreciate the most, the small things that make a difference to him. Set aside time together – as a must. Even if it means you take the kids to the park and sit and talk while they play – whatever it takes to keep your marriage alive. You were called to be a helpmate, not a roommate.