What if our churches are big houses but empty homes? The question came from another comment related to being an empty nester. When the statement was initially made, my mind connected as an empty nester – sitting in a four bedroom home, with grown children and grandchildren that don’t live near. I sat with the feeling for a moment, but brushed it off, it really is what happens in life. Our children grow up and they move away (or in my case we moved away). I want the space so they can stay with us when they are here. I also know I enjoy my space, even when it is just me and my husband. I need it to process. I need seperate spaces so I can completely disconnect.
Yet, when the question was restated, with the idea of the church, my heart flooded with sadness. I grew up in church. I loved being there. Even though I attended the largest church in our community, I knew most everyone. And they knew me. Not just the “I know them from church.” that I feel we have now, they knew me, they knew my family. They could ask about specific things going on in my life because they really knew me. It wasn’t because my family was in leadership, they weren’t. People just took the time to know each other.
People would drop by to visit on Saturday just to check in, it was not a long visit, but it was consistent. It was not by invitation, they just came. It was a weekly thing. Time slips away now, I was at a friend’s house last night, and her house had changed. When I asked when they redecorated, it was over two years ago. It has been just as long since I have really had people over at my house.
Compare how the Church operates now to the description of the Church in Acts:
Then those who gladly received his word were baptized; and that day about three thousand souls were added to them. And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers. Then fear came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles. Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need. So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved. Acts 2:41-47
Now the multitude of those who believed were of one heart and one soul; neither did anyone say that any of the things he possessed was his own, but they had all things in common. And with great power the apostles gave witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And great grace was upon them all. Nor was there anyone among them who lacked; for all who were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the proceeds of the things that were sold, and laid them at the apostles’ feet; and they distributed to each as anyone had need. Acts 4:32-35
So they departed from the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for His name. And daily in the temple, and in every house, they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ. Acts 5:41-42
And as they went through the cities, they delivered to them the decrees to keep, which were determined by the apostles and elders at Jerusalem. So the churches were strengthened in the faith, and increased in number daily. Acts 16:4-5
We have bigger buildings, but as the buildings grow the relationships become emptier. We have taken the stained glass out of the churches and instead walk around with our own “stained glass masquerade” as the Casting Crowns song labels how we hide what we are facing. I have said “as Christians we wear our masks better than children on Halloween”. We don’t let people know the real us. We may not even know ourselves really, we spend so much time pretending.
I am not saying that people don’t love each other, care about each other, or anything like that. I know people do. We just have allowed our lives to become so busy and then we connect through devices. There is only a parasocial relationship, a one-sides connection where we have a sense of familiarity but we don’t know them personally. We don’t share life, our schedules don’t have time for that. We don’t really carry other’s burdens, we have enough of our own.
Yes, they were in the synagogues and temples, but they were also in the homes. They were doing life together. If we do life in church, our home is empty. People, myself included, want their home to be a place of sanctuary. Our sanctuaries are now for fellowship and our homes are places of solitude. We don’t take time to fill our homes with people, to fellowship and relax with one another. We may break bread before or after a service, but then we go our separate ways.
Churches don’t talk about meeting one another’s needs, there is rarely even talk of the monetary needs to meet the ministry needs of the church. It is easier to ask for volunteers, or to use to same people to cook a meal then to ask for the church to be The Church. We rarely know one another’s needs, we may occasionally pray for a need, but we rarely go out of our way to meet a need. By each person sharing their faith with thier circle, bringing people in, and then those people going forth and doing the same thing.
I have nothing against large churches, I have so much respect for the church I grew up in and the outreach they did in our community. I know that even forty-six years later there are still people serving in that church that were serving when I was a child. I reached out to one recently, and despite the time that had passed, and her age, she still was able to tell me about the little girl I was then. I do believe we need to get back to the homes, to true fellowship, koinonia, communion with God and with other believers. We need big churches or houses and full homes, in God’s kingdom there is a need for both.
Restoring Voice 
♥️
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