Sorrow to Joy

“You have changed my sadness into a joyful dance; you have taken away my sorrow and surrounded me with joy.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭30‬:‭11‬ ‭‬‬

Holidays can be difficult for many. For some it is the loss of a loved one. For others it may be distance or broken relationships. For still others it may be the drama of family, the stimulation of gatherings, or unresolved trauma. So today as I gathered for the first of many holiday gathers of the holiday season, I thought about those who were sad with the holidays.

Often times we want to runaway from the sadness and sorrow instead of bringing it to God. In hiding our pain, we allow the roots to grow deeper. It is reinforced when we are triggered by things that remind us of the sadness. This strengthen pain and can add more and more things to the list of triggers. If not addressed it can easily become part of our accepted identity as we forget the root of the pain or distance ourselves from it but find more and more triggers. This is the legacy of trauma in our life or even the legacy of deep pain from events in our lives.

But if we bring it to God and allow Him to join us in the our sadness and sorrow He will turn our sadness into dancing. He will take our sorrow and surround us with the joy of His salvation. We face our sorrow, by sitting in the pain but inviting His presence to join us there.

Here are some tips for dealing with sadness, grief, and sorrow:

It is okay to have space to grieve, to be sad and sorrowful. They are emotions, and they are not bad.

At times it feels like if you start crying, you may never stop there is healing in the tears. Do it anyway.

Don’t try to suppress the tears, they need to be released or they will pop-up at other times.

If you need to put them off for a moment while you’re at work or something, give yourself space to do cry after. You may not use it, but check in with your heart to see if you need to grieve.

If you feel like you cry too much, set a timer and give yourself that time to cry. Be generous, the first time the timer may go off, but you will find often your tears run out if you let them flow before the timer goes off.

If you’re grieving remember it is not just the person you lost. It is everything else that is tied to the person – the time you spent with them, the roles you played in their life, the routines, the dreams, etc. all these generally need to be grieved too.

Be intentional to connect with others, but be okay doing it in short spurts. It is okay to go and make an appearance and then leave. You need to connect with others regularly.

Start to dream new dreams. Some of them may be continuations of past dreams. Honor your loved ones by fulfilling the dreams. Make new dreams too.

Lean into God. He can handle your questions, all the big feelings, and knows what you’re thinking anyway. Talk to Him regularly. Read the Bible daily. Seek Him in all of it.

Sadness, sorrow and grief won’t stop overnight. It may take months or even years. Keep moving forward. You won’t move on. Time won’t heal the wound. But God is our healer. His is our Comforter. He is our peace. He is our joy. Keep pressing in to Him.