Past present future

I heard these words in a podcast I was listening to recently by a woman coach. I don’t remember which podcast, I was listening as I got ready for work, I believe it was an episode from Table For Daughters. But she repeated these three phases:

Remnants of the past

Grievances with the present

Fears of the Future

I thought about what an accurate picture these things are in what has held me back from doing what God has placed on my heart. I know He has slowly been removing them (slowly because I have a hard time letting go, not because He is slow). There are things He hasn’t likely revealed to me yet but I acknowledge I am a work in progress.

When I think about the remnants of the past that I allowed to hold me back two things come to mind. The first was that I walked away from God, not once but twice. The first as a teenager as I began to see the hypocrisy of believers. I was saved when I was eight years old. Although I know at eight I was a sinner saved by grace, when I came back to God I didn’t know what to do with scriptures like:

“Anyone who is joined to Christ is a new being; the old is gone, the new has come.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5‬:‭17‬ ‭

I had tainted my new being with intentional sin. I knew Jesus wouldn’t die again for my sin so I wasn’t sure where that left me. I didn’t understand God’s grace and mercy. The second time I walked away it was not from God just organized religion. God drew me back and brought me into deeper relationship with him after that. It was years still before I could reconcile God could still use me despite my failing Him.

The other remnant of the past was being fired. It brought up feelings of rejection and not being enough. It brought out feelings of shame even though I didn’t really do anything wrong. It still tries to creep in, but I know I am not the only person in the world to be fired. And what has happened to me does not define me.

When I think about grievances of the present having much of my marriage spent as an unequally yoked spouse, I felt disqualified. ,I had this thought that if I was a”good enough” Christian that my husband would be saved. Again Scriptures like:

“They answered, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your family.””
‭‭Acts‬ ‭16‬:‭31‬ ‭

I would teach the children, it stepping out beyond that I condemned myself. How could I lead others if I couldn’t lead my family. I had tried to be Holy Spirit Junior and it didn’t work.

The other present grievance comes from comparison. Not so much in others gifts, but I’m not wanting to look like I was trying to be someone else. It was like I expected I could be the only one with the gift. If someone else mentioned wanting to do something similar, I would stop dead in my tracks. There was no convincing me to step out, if someone I knew was going to be doing what I felt God placed in my spirit.

Fear of the Future is certainly still a work in progress. A few fears I know would be the unknown, not being perfect, and the lack of control. I know I want to be the expert. I don’t want to risk failure. Then I condemn myself with scriptures like:

“There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear. So then, love has not been made perfect in anyone who is afraid, because fear has to do with punishment.” ‭‭1 John‬ ‭4‬:‭18‬ ‭

Regardless of whether it is the past, the present or the future I am allowing to condemn me, I know that it is not from God.

“There is no condemnation now for those who live in union with Christ Jesus.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭1‬ ‭‬

Instead I have had to renew my mind by seeking God’s truth that my past, my present and my future are all after the cross. God has not given me a license to sin, but His mercy and grace cover me when I do. So instead of looking at my life through the lens of condemnation, instead I will look at

The remnants of my past that show God’s faithfulness, His love, His forgiveness. I will testify of what He has carried me through and be reminded that this are all remnants of faith.

The grievances of the present are just trials that God will use to grow me. The Bible says:

“My friends, consider yourselves fortunate when all kinds of trials come your way, for you know that when your faith succeeds in facing such trials, the result is the ability to endure. Make sure that your endurance carries you all the way without failing, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James‬ ‭1‬:‭2‬-‭4‬ ‭‬‬

So I will stand and look at those grievances as something that God is using to grow my in Him. I will just obey as I hear him.

Finally with fear, I can remember:

“I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me.”‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭13‬ ‭

I can remember that if He is calling me, obedience is my responsibility, the outcome is His.

So if you have been immobilized by remnants of your past, remember Christ redeemed them. If you are being weighed down by grievances in your present, Take time to praise God for the season of growth that is coming. If fear of the future has you frozen remember You can do it, because we can do all things in Christ!

Lord help me to obey You, letting go of the past and pressing on towards the goal of Christ Jesus. Amen.