Doubts in my Mind

But he said to them, “Why are you alarmed? Why are these doubts coming up in your minds? Look at my hands and my feet, and see that it is I myself. Feel me, and you will know, for a ghost doesn’t have flesh and bones, as you can see I have. Luke 24:38-39

This passage comes following Jesus’ resurrection and his walk with the two men on the road to Emmaus. The men went back to Jerusalem to tell the disciples. Jesus suddenly appears in the room. It would have been really cool to have been there with the resurrected Savior but I am sure my reaction would have been similar knowing Jesus had died. Other accounts of this event have the disciples behind closed doors, so it would be natural to be alarmed that He suddenly appeared in the room and wonder if you are seeing a ghost.

I can relate. Less to the actual experience of Jesus showing me His scars and saying “Feel Me”. I relate more to the questioning from the Lord “Why are these doubts coming to Your mind?”

God has done amazing things throughout my life. He saved me. He has provided for me through single parenthood, homelessness, job losses, and many other situations. He has protected and defended me. He never left me even when I walked away from Him. He always comes through even if not as I expected or wanted. Despite all this, there are still times where these doubts are coming up in my mind.

I am not sure that I would say that I doubt Him. My doubts are more “Did I really hear Him?” or “Is this really what He told me to do?” I get there more often than I care to admit despite knowing that I generally seek Him first about those things and that I know His voice.

I can’t stop the thoughts from coming to me. I can chose to take them captive and not ruminate on those thoughts. I can build up my faith reminding myself of God’s faithfulness time and time again. I can remind myself of other times I’ve started to have questions of doubt and how God was right there, every single time. I can even remind myself of the times I did miss God and how He worked it all out.

I might not be able to see and touch Jesus in the natural. I can see His hand all over my life and all through my life. I can remembers and feel secure that regardless of what I am questioning, God is faithful. He is alive. God will come through, He always does.

Prayer – Lord, thank You for always being faithful. Thank You for the numerous times You have come through despite the questions of doubt that filled my mind. Thank You that I can see Your hand in my life. Thank You that I can see and feel the effects of Your sacrifice in my life. I would love to get to the place where doubts don’t come up in my mind. Until then, I thank You for the knowledge that I can take those thoughts captive and focus on the Truth of Who You are and all You have done. In Jesus name, amen!