My Struggle

Passage – In the same way, wives, submit to your husbands; so that even if some of them do not believe the Word, they will be won over by your conduct, without your saying anything, 1 Peter 3:1

Restated in my own words – Wives submit to your husbands so that in doing so, they will be led to Christ by your conduct.

Application to my life – Of all the scriptures that I read, this one causes me the most grief. It shows my deepest failure as a wife. I feel like after twenty-seven and a half years together, my husband should have been won to the Lord if I conducted myself right. I feel like if I submitted to him, he would be serving God by now. I feel like he would understand God’s love for him and that the Word sets him free to be the man God designed him to be. However, he’s not and at times I take that personally. I feel like if I was doing better in my walk with God,he would be won over for God.

For many years, even decades I have allowed that to hold me back. Like if I can’t get this one thing right how can I possibly help anyone else? I remember sitting in a church service in Bentonville, Arkansas feeling particularly unqualified due to my husband’s lack of being won over to the Lord.

It is my greatest desire, in part selfishly because I see how blessed we are and I can’t imagine how much more blessed we would be if he was serving God. I feel like God would take us to a deeper level and a higher level. But I also want my husband to experience God like I do. I think he would, he will have an amazing testimony for Christ when the he is finally won over.

Another part of me sees how much I have grown in my relationship with God because he hasn’t been one over. I have learned to talk to God about things I otherwise might not have. I’ve learned to depend on God in areas where in the natural I would have leaned on my husband. I have learned to take things to God that I might have sought human knowledge for. I have seen how much God has walked with us through.

I still want my husband to be one to the Lord. I admit that only over the past five years or so have I really submitted to his leadership. I know God is working and that ultimately that is between him and God.

Your Response to God – Lord, continue working in me to submit to my husband. Continue working on him too!